[ Yuji nods, easily, reaching out to fill a glass for Nanami before passing it over. Their fingers brush just a little, and Yuji feels his lips twitch up a little, his heart thudding in his chest. Even that was so warm, and he wants to reach out and grasp it for himself. ]
Nanami-san, you don't...
[ If there's one thing that Yuji knows about Nanami, he's not the kind of person who will ever be able to take no for an answer. He's determined, to the point of being stubborn, a little bit like Yuji himself is, so trying to dance away from this might just end up getting him in even more murky water with the man who's his partner now. He has to try, doesn't he?
He doesn't have to tell the whole truth - lying and lying, it makes him feel sick - those little half-lies piling up. But maybe it will help, to get the pain of it off his chest, to try and admit to a little bit of his grief. A confession without any kind of danger to it, since those events are so far in the future.
Rubbing his eyes, Yuji huffs a little noise, almost disappointed in himself. ]
I had a nightmare, about something that happened before I came here. I... Some people important to me died, because I wasn't strong enough to save them. Sometimes I dream about it.
[ That brush of their fingers... it definitely startled Nanami, though he was able to keep his reaction in check. But there's something warm about Yuji, something that makes his heart beat a little quicker. He really shouldn't be thinking about this right now. He grips his glass tight, tries not to show his reaction. There is no reaction as far as he's concerned.
But he looks up when Yuji speaks and gratitude blossoms in his chest when the other boy decides to open up to him, just a bit. He has no idea what happened to him before he showed up at the school, the entire thing a mystery, so this is... interesting. He's not going to share it with anyone, even if he knows their senpai are also curious. No, this is just for him.
And what a confession it is. His thoughts flit back to Haibara, how it felt to lose him, how it still feels. He swallows a little awkwardly and then sips his water. ]
I have nightmares too. [ Ah, he didn't realize he was going to say that. ] Before you arrived, my last partner died. So I ... know how it feels, to not be strong enough.
[ He stands there, a little awkward, a little shy. Quickly, he sips his water for something to do with his himself while he waits for Yuji's reply. ]
[ Yuji didn't know about Haibara until he woke up here, Gojo-senpai whispering it to him when he had been complaining, offhand, that Nanami wasn't really vibing with him. Haibara had been someone Nanami had lost, and Yuji had never known it - it explained a lot, why he was how he was, why he had stepped away from sorcery, why he had been a salary man for such a long time. Hearing it confessed now...
Swallowing, he puts his glass down and leans on the counter, watching. This is the kind of thing that sorcery leads them to, isn't it? Losing the people they care about, the people they love... At least Yuji knows Nanami isn't going to lose him. It's going to be the other way around, isn't it? When he glances up to look at Nanami again he sees, briefly, that flash of burned skin and missing eye, and it makes his throat tighten up.
Crossing his arms over his stomach, Yuji nods his head. None of this is okay, in the end, but at least they can rely on one another. Nanami might not like him much right now, but maybe in a few weeks they'll work as well together here as they do in the future. Maybe they can lean on one another and find their happiness, in whatever way they're able to muster. ]
I know it isn't fair. I know that we shouldn't blame ourselves, but it still feels like it was my fault. So many people died...
[ Sniffling a little, he wipes at his eyes and waves his hands. ]
It was a while ago now, so it's fine, right? We can carry on their memories, and their suffering. It'll make me stronger.
[ It feels strange now, to have said it out loud. My last partner died. Haibara had died. Nanami had been holding that for so long that he's not sure how to even react to confessing it now. Should he be upset? Should he cry? Or should he just... let it go? It is what it is. What happened happened. There's nothing to fight here.
But he looks at Yuji and his heart aches. He can see the tears in the other boy's eyes, can understand that he's trying to stifle so much emotion. He's not like Nanami, he wears his heart on his sleeve and that's an admirable trait. Yuji has so much emotion that Nanami very rarely knows how to react to it.
It makes him wonder too. If a bunch of people died because of cursed, shouldn't they know about it? Yuji is their age, unless this happened in another far off part of Japan. But Nanami stops himself there. This isn't the time to focus on the mystery. Yuji is here and he's clearly upset and...
And Nanami finds himself stepping forward, closer to Yuji. His hand lifts up and he cups Yuji's cheek, thumb swiping away his tears that have come despite how hard Yuji is trying not to cry. ]
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It can make you sad, it can make you angry. Being the one who survives isn't a good feeling, but you did survive, Itadori-san. You're here now.
[ Yuji didn't offer the truth hoping for any kind of comfort, but the way that Nanami reaches out for him to try and offer it anyway strikes him like a punch to the gut. In the future, when they're together with Yuji learning from him, Nanami didn't really offer comfort like this. He offered some words, the kind that saved Yuji and made him feel better, but it was never like this. It makes his hands shake and his eyes widen, heart in his throat.
The way he feels now... He might never have had a chance to feel this way about his Nanamin, but he definitely feels it now. Nanami touches him, palm soft and warm against his cheek, and Yuji yearns immediately for more of it. He wants to be greedy, to steal this for himself, to wrap both his arms around this man and hold himself there until he falls apart, even if he knows it's an awful idea. He can't take this for himself when he knows what's going to happen, can he?
But he wants it, so badly, and he sniffles as he tilts his head into the touch. ]
Nanami-san, they'd be mad at me if I was crying about them still. I can hear what she'd say to me, you know? 'Stop crying like an idiot, Itadori! There's still stuff to do, and I lived a good life! If you don't smile, I'll kick your ass!'
[ His laughter is a little choked off, and his hand lifts to wrap his fingers around Nanami's wrist, stroking over the pulse point of his wrist. He's alive, and Yuji gasps a little, tears rolling down his cheeks before he can fight them back. ]
I miss them a lot. But I'm happy here, too, so that's okay.
[ It's a stupid, teenage moment, the type Nanami likes to think he's above — but when Yuji says she, Nanami's heart flares with jealousy for a moment. Is he talking about a girlfriend of his that died? Did he have a girlfriend? Does he have a girlfriend? There's no way Yuji would like a boy like him, when he's so gloomy and pessimistic and who has treated him so coldly.
But then the thoughts burst and Nanami is filled with embarrassment over it. He can't believe he's getting this worked up over a hypothetical, over something that isn't even real, over something he doesn't even know if he wants. (But he does — touching Yuji right now, seeing the way he needs this comfort, needs someone, Nanami wants to be that someone.)
When the tears finally roll down Yuji's cheeks, Nanami steps closer again, this time almost in Yuji's personal space and his other hand lifts up to cup Yuji's other cheek. He wipes at his tears gently, eyebrow furrowed just a bit as he looks at the other boy in concern.
Quietly, Nanami is speaking before he can stop himself — ]
But it still hurts, doesn't it? It's okay to cry one more time, Itadori-san. [ ... ] And I'm glad you're here too. I don't want to lose you.
[ Yuji sinks into the kindness without any hesitation now that he knows it's welcome, letting himself tilt his head into the warmth that Nanami offers. It feels a little like taking advantage even now, knowing too much about him in the way that he does. Maybe the only reason Nanami wants to offer him this comfort is because Yuji knows how to get to the heart of him, knows from experience how to get that fondness to rise up in the other man.
That doesn't mean he has to be kind, or gentle, though, so this is beyond anything that Yuji could ever possibly have hoped for. He sniffles a little, trying to push through the emotions he is feeling and focus on how nice it feels to have someone reach out and take care of him for a change. His hands are so warm, and so large, and all Yuji can do is smile.
They're so close together, aren't they? He makes a quiet noise through his tears, his own hands dropping to rest lightly on Nanami's hips, not wanting him to slip away, not wanting him to move out of the comforting bubble they've made for each other. His heart is desperate for more, but Yuji doesn't know how much he's allowed to push for, how much he can demand from someone who, a few hours ago, seemed like he didn't like him even a little bit. ]
Nanamin... [ The name slips out as it was before he can remember to check himself, and he doesn't pay enough attention to try and stop himself. Turning his head, he brushes his lips gently against the warm fingers brushing away his tears, nuzzling into his palm. ] I don't want to lose you, either. I hope that's okay for me to tell you.
[ He shouldn't find that nickname so comforting. When Yuji first used it, he was surprised and confused by it. It was almost disrespectful, to act so close to him when they'd barely known each other. But it's been a while now and Yuji has continued to use it despite the fact Nanami knows he tries not to and Nanami has... become adjusted to it. Knowing it slipped out now because of how comfortable he feels with Nanami just makes Nanami's heart clench a little in his chest.
Fuck, this is more than he ever felt for Haibara. Haibara was his best friend and he loved him, he did, but right now this is something different. His feelings for Yuji feel complicated and it's like the more he pushes him away, the stronger they get. He keeps thinking of hearing Yuji cry alone to himself earlier and how it felt like getting stabbed in the chest over and over. Now Yuji is crying but he's in his arms and Nanami is able to comfort him.
The kiss he presses to his fingers lights up Nanami from the inside out, like electricity zinging up his spine he feels even more hyperaware of his body now. Of the hands on his hips, of their closeness, of everything. He steps in a little closer suddenly. ]
It's okay. [ He feels stupid, tongue-tied, wants to say things he shouldn't. He's speaking again without thinking. ] I'm sorry I've been so cold to you. I've just been scared.
[ God. This is. He doesn't know what he's doing here. But his heart is beating so hard in his chest and he feels like he might die if he pulls away from Yuji right now. It's too overwhelming. ]
No, it's okay. I get it. It's not easy, when you've lost someone important to you.
[ Maybe Yuji had been so desperate to be nice and kind to this Nanami because he had felt the grief of losing him already; he didn't want to see that happen again. He didn't want to experience that kind of loss, and add that to the confusing, conflicting feelings of wanting to kiss him and touch him alongside knowing who he becomes... Time travel is so confusing, someone like Yuji could never understand the impact of it all.
Does the Nanami of the future remember this, and hate him? Or were those memories never there until Yuji travelled the way he has?
With Nanami crowding into him, Yuji can only feel that thrumming thread of want that has been spiking the closer they've been getting. He could be reading into this, he could be projecting his own wants onto the person in front of him, but if he isn't... Then this is something that he wants, so badly, and his arms move a little higher. He draws Nanami closer, letting his back press into the counter behind him, and he tilts his head up with a small smile. ]
It didn't make me like you any less, you know? If anything, I like you more.
[ Daring, bold, feeling brave - Yuji leans in to press a little kiss against Nanami's jaw, his cheek, smile unfaltering. ]
[ Yuji is so strong, Nanami thinks. Not just physically — which he is. He's stronger than Nanami ever expected him to be, a super strength that is unreal to watch and makes him feel sometimes like nothing will ever touch Yuji, nothing will ever hurt him like it hurt Haibara. But he's also strong emotionally. Here he is, hurting under the grief that he carries but he's also smiling too, he's so warm and safe and Nanami feels like a moth being drawn to his flame.
Of course, Nanami knows nothing of the future. Doesn't know what this will mean, what he'll feel when an older version of himself runs into Yuji once again. No, he knows nothing.
But he does know that as Yuji kisses his jaw, his cheek, as he holds him even closer, his entire body feels flushed warm and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's feeling shy suddenly, nervous, averts his gaze from Yuji as his cheeks pink up. When Yuji says he likes him, Nanami wonders — does he like him like that? But he supposes the kisses are answer enough for it.
Nanami decides that he should stop thinking so much right now and just. Act. Because what he wants to do, what he wants to do so desperately, is kiss Yuji. Should he kiss Yuji? Is he allowed to kiss Yuji? They're partners, right? A-And some partners... date. Right? It can make you stronger, to fight for your loved one. It can also make you weaker too.
... No one has to know, right?
At that, Nanami makes a choice and before he can stop himself, he's leaning in to kiss Yuji softly on the lips. ]
[ This is a mistake, Yuji knows it immediately, a choice that is going to get him into more trouble than he could have ever predicted, but he can't stop himself. He doesn't want to stop, not when the warmth of Nanami's body is so real, and the tenderness of his mouth makes him feel so much happier. It fills that painful voice inside of him, the one that had been desperate for this - for Nanami to want him in return, the way that Yuji wanted him for so many weeks.
Fighting together had been like old times, but each time he had managed to protect Nanami, or they had taken down a curse together, it had felt like a gift. A present, something unique for him that he's allowed to have. After so many losses, after so many disappointments and grief stricken hours, shouldn't he be allowed to have something that makes him feel this kind of happiness?
He's made mistakes before, and they've worked out. He'd like to think that this one would work out too.
Lifting his arms up, Yuji pulls Nanami closer and presses up into the kiss, immediately overenthusiastic and wanting more. It transforms from something soft to something needy, careful of his strength to make sure that he doesn't do anything to hurt his partner. He could be deadly with something as simple as his hands, but he tries not to be, fingers in Nanami's hair gently.
When he pauses to breathe, he laughs softly, nuzzling his nose into Nanami's. ]
I'm so happy. [ He takes another kiss, this one a little more gentle, back to the softness that Nanami had offered him to begin with. ] I don't want to stop kissing you.
[ This is perfect, Nanami thinks. He kisses Yuji and it feels like nothing else he's ever felt. It feels like they were meant to be kissing, that their bodies were meant to be together like this. He feels giddy and that's rarely a word that could be applied to him. No, he feels like he's soaring with happiness and it makes him do the stupidest thing which he could possibly do — which is smile.
When Yuji pulls off from him and rubs their noses together, Nanami is smiling softly in reply. He drops his hands from Yuji's cheeks and sets them on either side of the counter behind Yuji, trapping him in as he steps a little closer and their bodies are almost pressed together like this. He nudges his nose against Yuji's and his smile widens just a little bit as he feels... happy and his heart is full. ]
Don't stop then.
[ And before Yuji can kiss him again, Nanami is going in for it. He presses his mouth against Yuji's and closes his eyes and kisses him. This time, it's not just a soft kiss but something deeper and with more intent. He kisses him eagerly and wantonly and makes a happy little sigh into the kiss as their lips move together. Oh, he likes this. He likes this so much.
He'll keep kissing him for a while like this, with Yuji's fingers in his hair and the slight taste of salt on their lips from Yuji's earlier tears. Nanami doesn't want to stop kissing Yuji, is already entertaining fanciful ideas of Yuji being his boyfriend now. Maybe that's a little silly but it's his own thoughts and he doesn't need to share them. ]
[ Nanami's smile is one of the most beautiful things that Yuji has ever seen; he didn't see it much before, and it had been impossible to find now, in this present world he's found himself in, but that makes it all the more wonderful. He wants to photograph it, to keep it to himself and tuck it away as a memory to keep. They're both so happy, and the rest of the world doesn't matter, doesn't apply, not when they can keep one another happy.
There are questions that pop up in his head - are they together now, does Nanami want more than this, will it be a secret or something shared, can he call him by name - but they can be for later, once they're done figuring out how it feels to kiss each other, the way their mouths fit against one another. This is the last thing that he expected, but it's exactly what he had dreamed about.
Nanami is strong and secure in front of him, their arms seeking out one another and wrapping around the weight of their bodies, and Yuji wonders what would happen if he hopped up onto the counter. Would they keep kissing, would they do more? He's not sure what he wants, or what he's ready for, but he thinks he'd like to do a lot of things with Nanami. To touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin, the shape of his arms and his legs, to leave marks against his collarbone and neck...
Gojo-senpai would absolutely make the most fun out of them ever if he knew. ]
I'm not going to. I want to kiss you forever.
[ He's never really done anything like this before - his first kiss is turning out to be a good one - but he tries his best, tongue flicking out, wanting to deepen the kiss, to get what he had been dreaming of for such a long time. ]
[ It's clumsy, a little bit. Nanami has kissed one person before. A girl in middle school. It was chaste and quick and not nearly as heartfelt as the kisses he's exchanging with Yuji now. So, he doesn't count it. It doesn't feel like this, doesn't make him feel as right and as whole. Nanami kisses Yuji with everything he's got, figuring out how to kiss at the same time, in the same breath.
As they break apart and Yuji says that, Nanami's smile doesn't fade, even though it grows smaller and more shy. He leans in, nudging their noses together and speaks softly — ]
Then... kiss me forever.
[ And then he's kissing Yuji again. He doesn't know what direction they're going with this either, if it's more than kissing or if they'll just make out the rest of the night. He doesn't care either. He wants everything with Yuji, whatever the other boy wants to give him. He just feels... perfect right now. Like this is what he was missing this whole time.
As Yuji's tongue flicks out, Nanami makes a noise, something like a moan, and his eyes fall shut as he opens his mouth to receive it. His own tongue presses forward to slide against Yuji's and he tilts his head head to the side to deepen the kiss. Mmm, yeah, that's perfect. That feels really damn good. ]
[ This definitely feels like something they should be doing in the privacy of their own rooms, sneaking away to press their mouths together and play and explore - but there's also the risk of getting carried away. Yuji is a teenager, despite all the things he has been experiencing in the last few months, and he knows that the urge to let his hands slip up Nanami's shirt, to draw him close and feel the length of his body will be a little too much for their first night together.
If they're together. That's a conversation for later.
The deeper kiss feels amazing, and Yuji feels more than hears the way he moans against Nanami's mouth, his arms tightening around him. There is no world where he ever would've imagined being able to do this, being able to find this kind of joy and excitement, and his body feels as though it might implode from how happy he is. He can't even remember the last time that he was this happy.
When he pauses, forces to breathe, Yuji leans back and huffs a quiet laugh. His nightmare is something in the back of his mind now, and his hand lifts to stroke over the shape of Nanami's cheekbone, sharp even now. He's only going to get even more handsome, and Yuji hopes that he can keep up. That he gets hotter, sexier as well, since Nanami definitely will. ]
Hey... Did you wanna...
[ He's blushing, and he glances away shyly. ]
It'll feel good if we're lying down together too, won't it?
[ Yuji begins to blush and Nanami has no idea how to react to that. Why is he blushing? What did he do? Nanami's brain fires off, trying to figure out the answer but then Yuji's words come and he realizes exactly what the other boy is thinking about.
Now it's his turn to blush.
Yuji is handsome and perfect and really fucking cute and Nanami doesn't know how to handle most of it. All of it, really. This kiss alone is more than he ever thought to expect and now that he thinks of more, he swallows. Lying down with Yuji? Kissing as they do? He thinks of what else they might do. Take off their shirts. Their pants. More? He doesn't know. He's never done this before and now it's all kinds of exciting and intimidating for him.
Before he can stop himself, he finds himself nodding in agreement to Yuji's suggestion. Yeah, they can go back to one of their rooms and just... kiss while lying down. It's probably better than doing it here where the threat of one of their senpais lingers. It would be especially mortifying if Gojo-senpai found them too, he would never let them live it down.
So, yeah. Yuji is smart. Of course he's smart. This is a smart idea. ]
Yuji is determined to not let himself get carried away with this, to go too far - kissing doesn't mean being together, doesn't mean being in any kind of relationship, but he wants that so desperately. The idea of Nanami wanting him back, of wanting to keep him safe, loving him - it sends a spark of excitement through him that he can't ignore. A part of him thinks it doesn't even matter if he never goes back to the future, not if it means he can have this, can keep it to himself.
Before he gets pulled away, Yuji leans in to kiss him again, pressing their mouths together with a gentle hum before he pulls himself back and moves forward. He grabs at Nanami's hand, trying to link their fingers together, to slot them into place. It's close to cutely romantic, and he feels himself smiling wider than maybe he should. ]
Yours is probably a little bit tidier than mine, hm? So let's try that.
[ Not that his is necessarily messy, it just has some clothes on the floor and the echo of nightmares. He'd much rather spend his time curled up on a bed that smells like Nanami and lets him be surrounded by the person he likes the most. ]
[ The follow up kiss surprises him, and delights him. He finds himself feeling shy afterwards, especially when Yuji laces their fingers together and he feels his heart beating ever so faster in his chest. He doesn't want to reject him though, no matter how overwhelmed this makes him, and so he squeezes Yuji's fingers back and gives him a small smile in return.
His room is probably cleaner which is a thought that kind of amuses him if he's honest. He'll nod when Yuji asks for him to lead the way and start doing just that, bringing Yuji with him through the hall, down to his bedroom. He's at the end of the hall with Yuji's room close to his. Probably the principal's idea for them to be next to each other just in case anything happened. Definitely not for this reason though.
But then they'll get to Nanami's room, which is neat and clean, the only mess being from when he left his bed unmade to get out and go to the kitchen. He didn't exactly expect to be bringing someone back to it and feels his cheeks go a little hot as he realizes.
The door will close behind them, leaving them alone in the room and Nanami is caught, a little conflicted for a moment before he's stepping in close to Yuji and meeting his eyes. ]
I like you, Itadori. [ . . . ] Yuji. Before we continue, I want you to know that.
[ Something as simple as kissing wasn't anything that Yuji had imagined feeling this good, but maybe that's partly because it's Nanami. Fantasy is nothing compared to reality, and the urge to keep dragging him down for more and more kisses is one that Yuji would enjoy giving in to, but he also knows what Nanami is like. If they were to get caught like this, it would embarrass him, and that's the last thing that Yuji wants to put him through.
That could kill things before they've even started, so... Moving now is definitely the better option.
Leaning back against the door, basking in the privacy and the knowledge that they're locked away in Nanami's room, he's almost surprised by the sudden invasion of his personal space, eyes widening for a moment. The confession makes him feel as though it's his birthday, or Valentine's Day, or all the good holidays all together. Lifting his arms, he wraps them around Nanami's neck, leaving little kisses against Nanami's jawline. ]
Ah, Nanamin... That's the best thing I've ever heard.
[ Leaning up, one hand stroking down Nanami's chest gently, Yuji pushes into the other boy's space and presses kisses against his mouth, one, then two, before he grips at his shirt and tries to kiss him a little harder. They should probably make their way over to Nanami's bed, but the idea of being pressed against a door to enjoy kiss after kiss is appealing as well. ]
[ Nanami's response is automatic when Yuji wraps his arms around his neck. His own arms go around Yuji's middle, holding him tight and letting him push closer when he wants to. The little kisses against his jaw have him blushing lightly, feeling flustered and hot. He's never had anything like this before and it feels very, very good.
And then Yuji is kissing him. Multiple times. He kisses back eagerly, pressing their lips together and exploring one another as his arms tighten around Yuji's middle and he clutches the back of his shirt in his fingertips. He wants to hold Yuji so tightly, so closely, he doesn't want to let the other boy out of his space for even a second.
Which is why when Yuji kisses him harder, he kisses back with as much intensity. He takes a step closer, pressing Yuji back against the door and pressing their bodies flush against each other as he kisses and kisses and kisses him. Yeah, they definitely should get to the bed but right now, this is nice too. ]
[ Maybe Yuji shouldn't be taking this as greedily as he is, shouldn't be stealing these moments from a man who's going to grow up to regret it, or maybe even resent him, but he can't resist it. He wants Nanami too much to ignore the desperation, the want to kiss him, touch him, hold him - do anything he can to make his life better. Even if this is a bad idea, it feels so good right now, it's hard to have regrets.
He hasn't kissed a lot of people, he hasn't had a lot of practice, but it feels easy with Nanami. Sinking against the door behind him, he makes a pleased noise against Nanami's mouth, a little hum of happiness, excitement. He wants this, he wants, but he smothers all the over-excited feelings, smothers the way that he wants to leap at Nanami and wrap himself around him and give him everything he has.
It's a little pathetic, he thinks, the lengths he would go for Nanami, the things he would do for him, if only he asked. Leaning back, he tilts his head to kiss Nanami's nose. ]
[ Nanami definitely hopes Yuji knows he means it when he says he likes him. That the feelings he feels for the other boy are immense and overwhelming for Nanami. He's felt drawn to him ever since he arrived and now they're here with each other and Nanami didn't expect this at all. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to show it properly other than to kiss Yuji a bit stupid.
So, when Yuji kisses his nose and calls him special, all he can do is blush really deeply in response. He wouldn't say that... but then again, it's Yuji's opinion and he can't really fight an opinion.
He ducks his head, a little shy and mumbles — ]
You're... more special.
[ And then his eyes glance up to Yuji, a small smile on his face. ]
[ This version of Nanami is so cute, Yuji can barely wrap his mind around it all; the idea that he can push into his space and claim that for himself... It's something that he shouldn't be so desperate to have, to claim for himself, but losing Nanami in the future makes this all the more special. This is going to cause so many problems in the long run, but he's so happy that he can't let himself think about those things.
Let it cause problems. Even if Nanami in the future did remember, he's dead. This is the only version of him that Yuji is going to be able to have, so he'll keep with tightly gripping hands.
Leaning in, he steals another kiss, sliding their mouths together, tugging him close. It's perfect, everything about it is perfect, and he makes a pleased noise as they separate. ]
It's not a competition. But I'm glad you think about me like that.
[ His mouth traces the shape of Nanami's jaw gently, to his neck, nuzzling in there for a moment. ]
[ Nanami is going to lean in and wrap his arms around Yuji. One hand cradling the back of his head, the other curled into the fabric between his shoulders. He holds him tight and lets Yuji kiss him gently, giving something close to a giggle when he's nuzzled because of how ticklish it feels.
He's feeling... joy right now. Elation. The sheer happiness that comes from expressing your feelings and them being returned to you. He wants to kiss Yuji stupid, he wants to stare at him for hours, he wants to cuddle him to sleep. He doesn't want Yuji to go, even a little bit.
He'll press another kiss to Yuji's mouth, chaste and sweet before he pulls away and steps back. He pulls his hands off of Yuji, fingertips skimming over his body until he captures his hands in his own. With their hands linked, he'll squeeze Yuji's and tug him towards the bed. ]
Come on. I — I want to kiss you some more.
[ And cuddle him. Very much wanting to cuddle him. ]
[ This is so cute, so endearing, that Yuji doesn't know what to do with himself; this isn't a version of Nanami that he had ever anticipated seeing in his life. There's a small part of him that is still in mourning, missing the man that is now far beyond his reach, someone that he can't reach out and touch any more. It feels wrong, to think about the person he's missed compared to the person that's right here, but he can't help the way his heart feels.
As soon as Nanami steps back, Yuji tries to chase his mouth, almost pouting at the distance put between them. He might want to move to the bed and kiss him more, but he also wants to keep kissing right now, and he shakes his head as he draws himself out of the little hazy moment that's overtaken him. Yeah, this is amazing, and Nanami is so cute, and he wants a thousand more of these moments.
Pushing their noses together as he sneaks another kiss, he slips away, nodding. If he's being tugged, he'll go; even if he might be able to pick Nanami up and carry him around easily, he's very easily led. Carefully, he drops on the bed, glad he didn't think to get properly dressed up after his nightmare.
They might be able to fall asleep together like this, cuddling close to one another. It's a dream come true. ]
You can kiss me as much as you want. I'm totally yours, Nanamin.
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Nanami-san, you don't...
[ If there's one thing that Yuji knows about Nanami, he's not the kind of person who will ever be able to take no for an answer. He's determined, to the point of being stubborn, a little bit like Yuji himself is, so trying to dance away from this might just end up getting him in even more murky water with the man who's his partner now. He has to try, doesn't he?
He doesn't have to tell the whole truth - lying and lying, it makes him feel sick - those little half-lies piling up. But maybe it will help, to get the pain of it off his chest, to try and admit to a little bit of his grief. A confession without any kind of danger to it, since those events are so far in the future.
Rubbing his eyes, Yuji huffs a little noise, almost disappointed in himself. ]
I had a nightmare, about something that happened before I came here. I... Some people important to me died, because I wasn't strong enough to save them. Sometimes I dream about it.
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But he looks up when Yuji speaks and gratitude blossoms in his chest when the other boy decides to open up to him, just a bit. He has no idea what happened to him before he showed up at the school, the entire thing a mystery, so this is... interesting. He's not going to share it with anyone, even if he knows their senpai are also curious. No, this is just for him.
And what a confession it is. His thoughts flit back to Haibara, how it felt to lose him, how it still feels. He swallows a little awkwardly and then sips his water. ]
I have nightmares too. [ Ah, he didn't realize he was going to say that. ] Before you arrived, my last partner died. So I ... know how it feels, to not be strong enough.
[ He stands there, a little awkward, a little shy. Quickly, he sips his water for something to do with his himself while he waits for Yuji's reply. ]
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[ Yuji didn't know about Haibara until he woke up here, Gojo-senpai whispering it to him when he had been complaining, offhand, that Nanami wasn't really vibing with him. Haibara had been someone Nanami had lost, and Yuji had never known it - it explained a lot, why he was how he was, why he had stepped away from sorcery, why he had been a salary man for such a long time. Hearing it confessed now...
Swallowing, he puts his glass down and leans on the counter, watching. This is the kind of thing that sorcery leads them to, isn't it? Losing the people they care about, the people they love... At least Yuji knows Nanami isn't going to lose him. It's going to be the other way around, isn't it? When he glances up to look at Nanami again he sees, briefly, that flash of burned skin and missing eye, and it makes his throat tighten up.
Crossing his arms over his stomach, Yuji nods his head. None of this is okay, in the end, but at least they can rely on one another. Nanami might not like him much right now, but maybe in a few weeks they'll work as well together here as they do in the future. Maybe they can lean on one another and find their happiness, in whatever way they're able to muster. ]
I know it isn't fair. I know that we shouldn't blame ourselves, but it still feels like it was my fault. So many people died...
[ Sniffling a little, he wipes at his eyes and waves his hands. ]
It was a while ago now, so it's fine, right? We can carry on their memories, and their suffering. It'll make me stronger.
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But he looks at Yuji and his heart aches. He can see the tears in the other boy's eyes, can understand that he's trying to stifle so much emotion. He's not like Nanami, he wears his heart on his sleeve and that's an admirable trait. Yuji has so much emotion that Nanami very rarely knows how to react to it.
It makes him wonder too. If a bunch of people died because of cursed, shouldn't they know about it? Yuji is their age, unless this happened in another far off part of Japan. But Nanami stops himself there. This isn't the time to focus on the mystery. Yuji is here and he's clearly upset and...
And Nanami finds himself stepping forward, closer to Yuji. His hand lifts up and he cups Yuji's cheek, thumb swiping away his tears that have come despite how hard Yuji is trying not to cry. ]
It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It can make you sad, it can make you angry. Being the one who survives isn't a good feeling, but you did survive, Itadori-san. You're here now.
[ . . . ]
You can cry, if you want. I won't leave.
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The way he feels now... He might never have had a chance to feel this way about his Nanamin, but he definitely feels it now. Nanami touches him, palm soft and warm against his cheek, and Yuji yearns immediately for more of it. He wants to be greedy, to steal this for himself, to wrap both his arms around this man and hold himself there until he falls apart, even if he knows it's an awful idea. He can't take this for himself when he knows what's going to happen, can he?
But he wants it, so badly, and he sniffles as he tilts his head into the touch. ]
Nanami-san, they'd be mad at me if I was crying about them still. I can hear what she'd say to me, you know? 'Stop crying like an idiot, Itadori! There's still stuff to do, and I lived a good life! If you don't smile, I'll kick your ass!'
[ His laughter is a little choked off, and his hand lifts to wrap his fingers around Nanami's wrist, stroking over the pulse point of his wrist. He's alive, and Yuji gasps a little, tears rolling down his cheeks before he can fight them back. ]
I miss them a lot. But I'm happy here, too, so that's okay.
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But then the thoughts burst and Nanami is filled with embarrassment over it. He can't believe he's getting this worked up over a hypothetical, over something that isn't even real, over something he doesn't even know if he wants. (But he does — touching Yuji right now, seeing the way he needs this comfort, needs someone, Nanami wants to be that someone.)
When the tears finally roll down Yuji's cheeks, Nanami steps closer again, this time almost in Yuji's personal space and his other hand lifts up to cup Yuji's other cheek. He wipes at his tears gently, eyebrow furrowed just a bit as he looks at the other boy in concern.
Quietly, Nanami is speaking before he can stop himself — ]
But it still hurts, doesn't it? It's okay to cry one more time, Itadori-san. [ ... ] And I'm glad you're here too. I don't want to lose you.
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That doesn't mean he has to be kind, or gentle, though, so this is beyond anything that Yuji could ever possibly have hoped for. He sniffles a little, trying to push through the emotions he is feeling and focus on how nice it feels to have someone reach out and take care of him for a change. His hands are so warm, and so large, and all Yuji can do is smile.
They're so close together, aren't they? He makes a quiet noise through his tears, his own hands dropping to rest lightly on Nanami's hips, not wanting him to slip away, not wanting him to move out of the comforting bubble they've made for each other. His heart is desperate for more, but Yuji doesn't know how much he's allowed to push for, how much he can demand from someone who, a few hours ago, seemed like he didn't like him even a little bit. ]
Nanamin... [ The name slips out as it was before he can remember to check himself, and he doesn't pay enough attention to try and stop himself. Turning his head, he brushes his lips gently against the warm fingers brushing away his tears, nuzzling into his palm. ] I don't want to lose you, either. I hope that's okay for me to tell you.
[ He doesn't want to be any kind of burden. ]
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Fuck, this is more than he ever felt for Haibara. Haibara was his best friend and he loved him, he did, but right now this is something different. His feelings for Yuji feel complicated and it's like the more he pushes him away, the stronger they get. He keeps thinking of hearing Yuji cry alone to himself earlier and how it felt like getting stabbed in the chest over and over. Now Yuji is crying but he's in his arms and Nanami is able to comfort him.
The kiss he presses to his fingers lights up Nanami from the inside out, like electricity zinging up his spine he feels even more hyperaware of his body now. Of the hands on his hips, of their closeness, of everything. He steps in a little closer suddenly. ]
It's okay. [ He feels stupid, tongue-tied, wants to say things he shouldn't. He's speaking again without thinking. ] I'm sorry I've been so cold to you. I've just been scared.
[ God. This is. He doesn't know what he's doing here. But his heart is beating so hard in his chest and he feels like he might die if he pulls away from Yuji right now. It's too overwhelming. ]
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[ Maybe Yuji had been so desperate to be nice and kind to this Nanami because he had felt the grief of losing him already; he didn't want to see that happen again. He didn't want to experience that kind of loss, and add that to the confusing, conflicting feelings of wanting to kiss him and touch him alongside knowing who he becomes... Time travel is so confusing, someone like Yuji could never understand the impact of it all.
Does the Nanami of the future remember this, and hate him? Or were those memories never there until Yuji travelled the way he has?
With Nanami crowding into him, Yuji can only feel that thrumming thread of want that has been spiking the closer they've been getting. He could be reading into this, he could be projecting his own wants onto the person in front of him, but if he isn't... Then this is something that he wants, so badly, and his arms move a little higher. He draws Nanami closer, letting his back press into the counter behind him, and he tilts his head up with a small smile. ]
It didn't make me like you any less, you know? If anything, I like you more.
[ Daring, bold, feeling brave - Yuji leans in to press a little kiss against Nanami's jaw, his cheek, smile unfaltering. ]
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Of course, Nanami knows nothing of the future. Doesn't know what this will mean, what he'll feel when an older version of himself runs into Yuji once again. No, he knows nothing.
But he does know that as Yuji kisses his jaw, his cheek, as he holds him even closer, his entire body feels flushed warm and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's feeling shy suddenly, nervous, averts his gaze from Yuji as his cheeks pink up. When Yuji says he likes him, Nanami wonders — does he like him like that? But he supposes the kisses are answer enough for it.
Nanami decides that he should stop thinking so much right now and just. Act. Because what he wants to do, what he wants to do so desperately, is kiss Yuji. Should he kiss Yuji? Is he allowed to kiss Yuji? They're partners, right? A-And some partners... date. Right? It can make you stronger, to fight for your loved one. It can also make you weaker too.
... No one has to know, right?
At that, Nanami makes a choice and before he can stop himself, he's leaning in to kiss Yuji softly on the lips. ]
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Fighting together had been like old times, but each time he had managed to protect Nanami, or they had taken down a curse together, it had felt like a gift. A present, something unique for him that he's allowed to have. After so many losses, after so many disappointments and grief stricken hours, shouldn't he be allowed to have something that makes him feel this kind of happiness?
He's made mistakes before, and they've worked out. He'd like to think that this one would work out too.
Lifting his arms up, Yuji pulls Nanami closer and presses up into the kiss, immediately overenthusiastic and wanting more. It transforms from something soft to something needy, careful of his strength to make sure that he doesn't do anything to hurt his partner. He could be deadly with something as simple as his hands, but he tries not to be, fingers in Nanami's hair gently.
When he pauses to breathe, he laughs softly, nuzzling his nose into Nanami's. ]
I'm so happy. [ He takes another kiss, this one a little more gentle, back to the softness that Nanami had offered him to begin with. ] I don't want to stop kissing you.
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When Yuji pulls off from him and rubs their noses together, Nanami is smiling softly in reply. He drops his hands from Yuji's cheeks and sets them on either side of the counter behind Yuji, trapping him in as he steps a little closer and their bodies are almost pressed together like this. He nudges his nose against Yuji's and his smile widens just a little bit as he feels... happy and his heart is full. ]
Don't stop then.
[ And before Yuji can kiss him again, Nanami is going in for it. He presses his mouth against Yuji's and closes his eyes and kisses him. This time, it's not just a soft kiss but something deeper and with more intent. He kisses him eagerly and wantonly and makes a happy little sigh into the kiss as their lips move together. Oh, he likes this. He likes this so much.
He'll keep kissing him for a while like this, with Yuji's fingers in his hair and the slight taste of salt on their lips from Yuji's earlier tears. Nanami doesn't want to stop kissing Yuji, is already entertaining fanciful ideas of Yuji being his boyfriend now. Maybe that's a little silly but it's his own thoughts and he doesn't need to share them. ]
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There are questions that pop up in his head - are they together now, does Nanami want more than this, will it be a secret or something shared, can he call him by name - but they can be for later, once they're done figuring out how it feels to kiss each other, the way their mouths fit against one another. This is the last thing that he expected, but it's exactly what he had dreamed about.
Nanami is strong and secure in front of him, their arms seeking out one another and wrapping around the weight of their bodies, and Yuji wonders what would happen if he hopped up onto the counter. Would they keep kissing, would they do more? He's not sure what he wants, or what he's ready for, but he thinks he'd like to do a lot of things with Nanami. To touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin, the shape of his arms and his legs, to leave marks against his collarbone and neck...
Gojo-senpai would absolutely make the most fun out of them ever if he knew. ]
I'm not going to. I want to kiss you forever.
[ He's never really done anything like this before - his first kiss is turning out to be a good one - but he tries his best, tongue flicking out, wanting to deepen the kiss, to get what he had been dreaming of for such a long time. ]
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As they break apart and Yuji says that, Nanami's smile doesn't fade, even though it grows smaller and more shy. He leans in, nudging their noses together and speaks softly — ]
Then... kiss me forever.
[ And then he's kissing Yuji again. He doesn't know what direction they're going with this either, if it's more than kissing or if they'll just make out the rest of the night. He doesn't care either. He wants everything with Yuji, whatever the other boy wants to give him. He just feels... perfect right now. Like this is what he was missing this whole time.
As Yuji's tongue flicks out, Nanami makes a noise, something like a moan, and his eyes fall shut as he opens his mouth to receive it. His own tongue presses forward to slide against Yuji's and he tilts his head head to the side to deepen the kiss. Mmm, yeah, that's perfect. That feels really damn good. ]
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If they're together. That's a conversation for later.
The deeper kiss feels amazing, and Yuji feels more than hears the way he moans against Nanami's mouth, his arms tightening around him. There is no world where he ever would've imagined being able to do this, being able to find this kind of joy and excitement, and his body feels as though it might implode from how happy he is. He can't even remember the last time that he was this happy.
When he pauses, forces to breathe, Yuji leans back and huffs a quiet laugh. His nightmare is something in the back of his mind now, and his hand lifts to stroke over the shape of Nanami's cheekbone, sharp even now. He's only going to get even more handsome, and Yuji hopes that he can keep up. That he gets hotter, sexier as well, since Nanami definitely will. ]
Hey... Did you wanna...
[ He's blushing, and he glances away shyly. ]
It'll feel good if we're lying down together too, won't it?
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Now it's his turn to blush.
Yuji is handsome and perfect and really fucking cute and Nanami doesn't know how to handle most of it. All of it, really. This kiss alone is more than he ever thought to expect and now that he thinks of more, he swallows. Lying down with Yuji? Kissing as they do? He thinks of what else they might do. Take off their shirts. Their pants. More? He doesn't know. He's never done this before and now it's all kinds of exciting and intimidating for him.
Before he can stop himself, he finds himself nodding in agreement to Yuji's suggestion. Yeah, they can go back to one of their rooms and just... kiss while lying down. It's probably better than doing it here where the threat of one of their senpais lingers. It would be especially mortifying if Gojo-senpai found them too, he would never let them live it down.
So, yeah. Yuji is smart. Of course he's smart. This is a smart idea. ]
... Yeah, let's go. My room or yours?
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Yuji is determined to not let himself get carried away with this, to go too far - kissing doesn't mean being together, doesn't mean being in any kind of relationship, but he wants that so desperately. The idea of Nanami wanting him back, of wanting to keep him safe, loving him - it sends a spark of excitement through him that he can't ignore. A part of him thinks it doesn't even matter if he never goes back to the future, not if it means he can have this, can keep it to himself.
Before he gets pulled away, Yuji leans in to kiss him again, pressing their mouths together with a gentle hum before he pulls himself back and moves forward. He grabs at Nanami's hand, trying to link their fingers together, to slot them into place. It's close to cutely romantic, and he feels himself smiling wider than maybe he should. ]
Yours is probably a little bit tidier than mine, hm? So let's try that.
[ Not that his is necessarily messy, it just has some clothes on the floor and the echo of nightmares. He'd much rather spend his time curled up on a bed that smells like Nanami and lets him be surrounded by the person he likes the most. ]
Lead the way?
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His room is probably cleaner which is a thought that kind of amuses him if he's honest. He'll nod when Yuji asks for him to lead the way and start doing just that, bringing Yuji with him through the hall, down to his bedroom. He's at the end of the hall with Yuji's room close to his. Probably the principal's idea for them to be next to each other just in case anything happened. Definitely not for this reason though.
But then they'll get to Nanami's room, which is neat and clean, the only mess being from when he left his bed unmade to get out and go to the kitchen. He didn't exactly expect to be bringing someone back to it and feels his cheeks go a little hot as he realizes.
The door will close behind them, leaving them alone in the room and Nanami is caught, a little conflicted for a moment before he's stepping in close to Yuji and meeting his eyes. ]
I like you, Itadori. [ . . . ] Yuji. Before we continue, I want you to know that.
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That could kill things before they've even started, so... Moving now is definitely the better option.
Leaning back against the door, basking in the privacy and the knowledge that they're locked away in Nanami's room, he's almost surprised by the sudden invasion of his personal space, eyes widening for a moment. The confession makes him feel as though it's his birthday, or Valentine's Day, or all the good holidays all together. Lifting his arms, he wraps them around Nanami's neck, leaving little kisses against Nanami's jawline. ]
Ah, Nanamin... That's the best thing I've ever heard.
[ Leaning up, one hand stroking down Nanami's chest gently, Yuji pushes into the other boy's space and presses kisses against his mouth, one, then two, before he grips at his shirt and tries to kiss him a little harder. They should probably make their way over to Nanami's bed, but the idea of being pressed against a door to enjoy kiss after kiss is appealing as well. ]
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And then Yuji is kissing him. Multiple times. He kisses back eagerly, pressing their lips together and exploring one another as his arms tighten around Yuji's middle and he clutches the back of his shirt in his fingertips. He wants to hold Yuji so tightly, so closely, he doesn't want to let the other boy out of his space for even a second.
Which is why when Yuji kisses him harder, he kisses back with as much intensity. He takes a step closer, pressing Yuji back against the door and pressing their bodies flush against each other as he kisses and kisses and kisses him. Yeah, they definitely should get to the bed but right now, this is nice too. ]
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He hasn't kissed a lot of people, he hasn't had a lot of practice, but it feels easy with Nanami. Sinking against the door behind him, he makes a pleased noise against Nanami's mouth, a little hum of happiness, excitement. He wants this, he wants, but he smothers all the over-excited feelings, smothers the way that he wants to leap at Nanami and wrap himself around him and give him everything he has.
It's a little pathetic, he thinks, the lengths he would go for Nanami, the things he would do for him, if only he asked. Leaning back, he tilts his head to kiss Nanami's nose. ]
You're... Really special.
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So, when Yuji kisses his nose and calls him special, all he can do is blush really deeply in response. He wouldn't say that... but then again, it's Yuji's opinion and he can't really fight an opinion.
He ducks his head, a little shy and mumbles — ]
You're... more special.
[ And then his eyes glance up to Yuji, a small smile on his face. ]
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Let it cause problems. Even if Nanami in the future did remember, he's dead. This is the only version of him that Yuji is going to be able to have, so he'll keep with tightly gripping hands.
Leaning in, he steals another kiss, sliding their mouths together, tugging him close. It's perfect, everything about it is perfect, and he makes a pleased noise as they separate. ]
It's not a competition. But I'm glad you think about me like that.
[ His mouth traces the shape of Nanami's jaw gently, to his neck, nuzzling in there for a moment. ]
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He's feeling... joy right now. Elation. The sheer happiness that comes from expressing your feelings and them being returned to you. He wants to kiss Yuji stupid, he wants to stare at him for hours, he wants to cuddle him to sleep. He doesn't want Yuji to go, even a little bit.
He'll press another kiss to Yuji's mouth, chaste and sweet before he pulls away and steps back. He pulls his hands off of Yuji, fingertips skimming over his body until he captures his hands in his own. With their hands linked, he'll squeeze Yuji's and tug him towards the bed. ]
Come on. I — I want to kiss you some more.
[ And cuddle him. Very much wanting to cuddle him. ]
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As soon as Nanami steps back, Yuji tries to chase his mouth, almost pouting at the distance put between them. He might want to move to the bed and kiss him more, but he also wants to keep kissing right now, and he shakes his head as he draws himself out of the little hazy moment that's overtaken him. Yeah, this is amazing, and Nanami is so cute, and he wants a thousand more of these moments.
Pushing their noses together as he sneaks another kiss, he slips away, nodding. If he's being tugged, he'll go; even if he might be able to pick Nanami up and carry him around easily, he's very easily led. Carefully, he drops on the bed, glad he didn't think to get properly dressed up after his nightmare.
They might be able to fall asleep together like this, cuddling close to one another. It's a dream come true. ]
You can kiss me as much as you want. I'm totally yours, Nanamin.
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