That's almost as long as Yuji was with Mahito for, but things feel so different here. Megumi isn't on the floor, or chained, or paraded around for other people to look at. All the things that Yuji had imagined were completely normal for a relationship between a dominant and a submissive are missing from this house: no hooks, no spaces on the ground to sit, no commands given sharply before rooms are left.
It seems peaceful, and quiet, and happy, and to Yuji that feels... Strange, and uncomfortable to think about.
Was Mahito the strange one, or is it Gojo-san? He really can't tell.
Three years feels like such a long time. ]
Oh. Thanks. [ For the support. Not rude. Ah. ] Do... You're happy here?
Megumi prickles on instinct, almost just for the reflexive dislike of anyone asking about how he feels, even something as simple as being happy at Gojo's. But it's a normal question, and it's weirdly easy to answer. ]
I... Yeah. [ He... is. He doesn't dread every day. He doesn't wake up feeling hopeless or resigned to the will of another person. As much as he exists in the strange space of having no more rights than Gojo allows, it doesn't feel that way. ]
I don't hate it. [ High praise in Megumi-speak.
He glances over at Yuji, trying not to stare. It feels weird to know some things about the submissive sitting next to him, but to also have no context of Yuji himself. ]
[ Yuji is getting the impression already that even the most lukewarm response might mean something more enthusiastic to this guy, and it makes his mouth twitch a little, almost smiling. It's kind of cute, in a way, but the sort of thing that you'd find a little frustrating to deal with after a while, wanting to know more about how he really feels. That sort of thing.
He doesn't hate it, so that means he's happy.
Happy, in his first placement? Yuji assumes, at least... Is that normal?
He has no idea: what can he compare it to?
Blinking down at the controller in his hands, Yuji shifts a little. He doesn't mind answering the questions, but he feels a strange, gnawing guilt, as if somehow it's wrong to talk about this. As if it's wrong, to risk making other people sad for something stupid and pathetic, in his eyes. ]
Yeah, Suguru-san took me in after I was removed from the other one. I was there a few years.
[ A few years? Changes in placement aren't uncommon, but they're usually initiated because of a mismatch or dominant's request. It takes a lot for a submissive to be removed from a home. Megumi's own morbid curiosity makes him want to ask directly, but he has enough good sense not to blurt it out. ]
... Is it better so far?
[ Megumi doesn't know a lot about Geto, but he does know that the guy seems to be more in line with Gojo's practices than whatever Yuji had before. ]
Yuji is more comfortable, he's probably happier than he was in his old placement, but he's still on edge. He hasn't really had any kind of punishment yet and his anxious, waiting for it to happen. He's sure he's done things that should've earned him some kind of consequence now, disappointed Suguru in some way, but he hasn't seen anything like a sanction.
A part of him wonders if Suguru is really that soft, or if he really thinks Yuji is that desperately weak. As if he couldn't handle whatever he might give him. ]
I guess so. I don't really know how to compare these kinds of things. It's different from Mahito-sam- ah. The other place. The other guy.
[ Mahito-sama, who watched Yuji be taken away from his doorway and just smiled. ]
[ This is an awkward conversation. As much as Megumi usually goes out of his way to avoid these kinds of interactions, he's listening to Yuji now, tiny furrow in his brow as he watches the game track. (He's not being a jerk with items and knocking Yuji constantly off the map, so clearly, he's trying.) ]
What's different? [ It's a broad, invasive question, which maybe should mean it's something Megumi shouldn't ask after just meeting Yuji, but he wants to know.
But quickly seeming to think better of it, Megumi adds, ]
[ Yuji is focussed on the game, and he's never had much of an issue talking about this kind of thing, so he just... Talks, as he plays around and lets his little character run into a banana. Aw. ]
I don't mind. I talked about it enough at the foster centre.
[ Sighing, he stares at the screen, not minding that he's losing by a lot. ]
There are a lot less rules, and Suguru-san listens to me when I say things. If I don't want to do something, we don't have to, and that's pretty weird... Sometimes I still feel bad, when it's obviously something he was excited about. And I haven't been punished yet, and he hasn't had any other dominants other either.
[ Megumi listens without interrupting – and without really reacting. Not because he's unfazed by what Yuji says (on the contrary, he's deeply bothered by the implications of what Yuji doesn't say), but because he doesn't want Yuji to think that he should stop telling Megumi. It's good to know Geto is apparently pretty reasonable, but the comparison of where Yuji came from sticks with Megumi.
One thing that really surprises him (much like it surprised Suguru) is the idea that Yuji would need to be punished all that often.
Frowning, Megumi glances over at Yuji. ]
What kind of stuff are you expecting to get punished for? [ Megumi gets punished plenty, but he's a mouthy brat – for sport and by nature. Sometimes he baits Gojo by refusing to obey, just to see how his dominant will react. But Yuji is... so obedient and submissive, almost painfully. What would he get punished for? ]
[ Yuji is starting to get the idea that the things he experienced before Suguru are not the usual things that a submissive ought to go through. When he had spoken about it to the counsellors, they'd always written down a lot of notes and asked him questions about how he felt about it, if he felt okay, if he wanted a new dominant.
At the time, he hadn't minded so much, but now... He has kind of an uncomfortable feeling about it all. ]
The usual stuff?
[ Lowering his hands, controller resting on his lap, he tilts his head. ]
Speaking without being told, not following the rules, not listening properly, crying, being too slow or too fast... Normal stuff.
[ The game is paused, and Yuji turns to look at Megumi without hesitation. Sure, he's starting to realise things were bad, but he hasn't quite realised just how bad they were. It's still dawning on him, in that sad, slow sort of way.
Megumi is making it seem... Worse, somehow. ]
Sure? If I kept doing things wrong, then I got punished. That's how this is meant to work, isn't it?
Yeah, but are you trying to act out? If he didn't listen to you when you didn't want to do things and then punished you when you cried, how's that your fault?
[ Megumi is trying to piece together what Yuji said about Geto and the differences from the last placement. The picture everything paints is fucking grim, and maybe that means he should leave it alone, but...
[ Megumi can't help but compare it to his own life with Gojo. If anything, his dominant seems to like when Megumi cries; depending on the context, Gojo seems to find it adorable rather than obnoxious. But aside from that, it's not something Megumi can control, especially not in the middle of an intense scene, and he's never even heard a single whisper about punishment for crying. Sometimes, punishment goes until he cries – if that's the goal. ]
Crying is normal. [ Which is apparently the closest Megumi wants to get to admitting that he cries, but... ]
[ Yuji always got the impression he wasn’t supposed to react like that, so when he was punished it was to get him back into ‘focus’… Or sometimes the crying would be ignored and they’d just keep going.
Slumping on the couch, he sighs. ]
Suguru-san hasn’t given me that many rules yet. He keeps asking me to do weird things like squeeze his hand, though.
Dominants are always supposed to give us a way out in a scene – and if you can't talk, you're supposed to have another option.
[ Megumi stares right back at Yuji, baffled and a little angry because this feels... basic. Or maybe it was just basic because he's been in Gojo's house for so long? But he knows Geto is the same way, so... The confusion in Megumi's head is a weird soup, but none of it is directed at Yuji. ]
And nobody ever told you? Him or any other dominants he brought around?
[ Yuji frowns, tilting his head, arms crossing over his body defensively. This is starting to feel as uncomfortable as talking about ‘limits’ had felt with Suguru-san to begin with… Ah, well… ]
Ma- he would decide when things were over, as the dominant.
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That's almost as long as Yuji was with Mahito for, but things feel so different here. Megumi isn't on the floor, or chained, or paraded around for other people to look at. All the things that Yuji had imagined were completely normal for a relationship between a dominant and a submissive are missing from this house: no hooks, no spaces on the ground to sit, no commands given sharply before rooms are left.
It seems peaceful, and quiet, and happy, and to Yuji that feels... Strange, and uncomfortable to think about.
Was Mahito the strange one, or is it Gojo-san? He really can't tell.
Three years feels like such a long time. ]
Oh. Thanks. [ For the support. Not rude. Ah. ] Do... You're happy here?
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Megumi prickles on instinct, almost just for the reflexive dislike of anyone asking about how he feels, even something as simple as being happy at Gojo's. But it's a normal question, and it's weirdly easy to answer. ]
I... Yeah. [ He... is. He doesn't dread every day. He doesn't wake up feeling hopeless or resigned to the will of another person. As much as he exists in the strange space of having no more rights than Gojo allows, it doesn't feel that way. ]
I don't hate it. [ High praise in Megumi-speak.
He glances over at Yuji, trying not to stare. It feels weird to know some things about the submissive sitting next to him, but to also have no context of Yuji himself. ]
Geto's your second placement, right?
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He doesn't hate it, so that means he's happy.
Happy, in his first placement? Yuji assumes, at least... Is that normal?
He has no idea: what can he compare it to?
Blinking down at the controller in his hands, Yuji shifts a little. He doesn't mind answering the questions, but he feels a strange, gnawing guilt, as if somehow it's wrong to talk about this. As if it's wrong, to risk making other people sad for something stupid and pathetic, in his eyes. ]
Yeah, Suguru-san took me in after I was removed from the other one. I was there a few years.
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... Is it better so far?
[ Megumi doesn't know a lot about Geto, but he does know that the guy seems to be more in line with Gojo's practices than whatever Yuji had before. ]
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[ That's a hard question to answer.
Yuji is more comfortable, he's probably happier than he was in his old placement, but he's still on edge. He hasn't really had any kind of punishment yet and his anxious, waiting for it to happen. He's sure he's done things that should've earned him some kind of consequence now, disappointed Suguru in some way, but he hasn't seen anything like a sanction.
A part of him wonders if Suguru is really that soft, or if he really thinks Yuji is that desperately weak. As if he couldn't handle whatever he might give him. ]
I guess so. I don't really know how to compare these kinds of things. It's different from Mahito-sam- ah. The other place. The other guy.
[ Mahito-sama, who watched Yuji be taken away from his doorway and just smiled. ]
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What's different? [ It's a broad, invasive question, which maybe should mean it's something Megumi shouldn't ask after just meeting Yuji, but he wants to know.
But quickly seeming to think better of it, Megumi adds, ]
Don't answer, if you don't want to.
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I don't mind. I talked about it enough at the foster centre.
[ Sighing, he stares at the screen, not minding that he's losing by a lot. ]
There are a lot less rules, and Suguru-san listens to me when I say things. If I don't want to do something, we don't have to, and that's pretty weird... Sometimes I still feel bad, when it's obviously something he was excited about. And I haven't been punished yet, and he hasn't had any other dominants other either.
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One thing that really surprises him (much like it surprised Suguru) is the idea that Yuji would need to be punished all that often.
Frowning, Megumi glances over at Yuji. ]
What kind of stuff are you expecting to get punished for? [ Megumi gets punished plenty, but he's a mouthy brat – for sport and by nature. Sometimes he baits Gojo by refusing to obey, just to see how his dominant will react. But Yuji is... so obedient and submissive, almost painfully. What would he get punished for? ]
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At the time, he hadn't minded so much, but now... He has kind of an uncomfortable feeling about it all. ]
The usual stuff?
[ Lowering his hands, controller resting on his lap, he tilts his head. ]
Speaking without being told, not following the rules, not listening properly, crying, being too slow or too fast... Normal stuff.
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Megumi pauses the game, setting his own controller down, he's definitely focused on Yuji now. ]
Who the hell punishes someone for crying? [ He shakes his head, mouth twisted with displeasure. ]
But you were with him for years, right? And he just kept punishing you for that stuff all the time?
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[ The game is paused, and Yuji turns to look at Megumi without hesitation. Sure, he's starting to realise things were bad, but he hasn't quite realised just how bad they were. It's still dawning on him, in that sad, slow sort of way.
Megumi is making it seem... Worse, somehow. ]
Sure? If I kept doing things wrong, then I got punished. That's how this is meant to work, isn't it?
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[ Megumi is trying to piece together what Yuji said about Geto and the differences from the last placement. The picture everything paints is fucking grim, and maybe that means he should leave it alone, but...
... Maybe he should have more tact. Oops. ]
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[ Yuji watches Megumi for a moment, a weird, anxious feeling in his stomach.
Is he… Wrong about this…?
Shaking his head, he frowns. ]
I shouldn’t have cried.
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Crying is normal. [ Which is apparently the closest Megumi wants to get to admitting that he cries, but... ]
Does Geto say you're not supposed to cry?
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[ Yuji always got the impression he wasn’t supposed to react like that, so when he was punished it was to get him back into ‘focus’… Or sometimes the crying would be ignored and they’d just keep going.
Slumping on the couch, he sighs. ]
Suguru-san hasn’t given me that many rules yet. He keeps asking me to do weird things like squeeze his hand, though.
[ Like a safe signal… ]
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[ And Yuji finds that weird? Fuck. ]
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[ Yuji, thinking Megumi is on his wavelength here. ]
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[ A dominant is supposed to always give their submissive a way to communicate if the verbal avenue is no longer available. ]
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[ Yuji just… Stares at Megumi for a moment, feeling like he’s totally missed something. He’s been so well trained, how could he…? ]
I… I’ve never done that.
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[ Megumi stares right back at Yuji, baffled and a little angry because this feels... basic. Or maybe it was just basic because he's been in Gojo's house for so long? But he knows Geto is the same way, so... The confusion in Megumi's head is a weird soup, but none of it is directed at Yuji. ]
And nobody ever told you? Him or any other dominants he brought around?
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[ Yuji frowns, tilting his head, arms crossing over his body defensively. This is starting to feel as uncomfortable as talking about ‘limits’ had felt with Suguru-san to begin with… Ah, well… ]
Ma- he would decide when things were over, as the dominant.
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[ Right??? ]
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[ Yuji rubs his chin, as if deep in thought. ]
Suguru-san said we had to use those, and safe words too, so...
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That's how every dominant is supposed to act. That's kind of their Basics 101.
[ Whether or not every dominant in society does the same is another matter. ]
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[ :) ]
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