eyescar | the aus ruining our life

what do you mean?

[ Maybe if Yuji wasn’t thinking about that, Megumi is just being silly. She married Satoru first, and though Yuji started dating Suguru fairly soon after they were introduced, Megumi has always been leery of the effortless intimacy the two best friends have together. It’s the kind of insecurity she can intellectualize and shuffle away, never examine it too closely because doing so only ties her up into more knots – and maybe it’s easier to swallow now, with things the way they’re going with Yuji.

ABORT ABORT. ]

Nothing, never mind.
If he’s into it, that’s good, right?
What kind of stuff does he want to do?

megumi, tell me
if we’re gonna do this we need to be honest with each other

[ Yuji’s had her fair share of concerns and jealousies about Suguru and his relationship with Gojo - for a little while in the start of their relationship she’d felt like a consolation prize, because he couldn’t have his best friend. She knows better now, of course, but something those insecurities prickle at her in her weaker moments. ]

[ UGHHHHHHH, being vulnerable. She hates this part. ]

I don’t know, sometimes I just

[ She hesitates, then starts again. ]

You don’t ever wonder if they’d rather just be with each other instead?

i used to.
i was really scared that suguru didn’t want me, he just couldn’t have gojo-kun, you know?
but he loves me. he only wants to do this because i’m there too.

That’s what Satoru said too.

[ And knowing that Yuji believes Suguru makes it easier for Megumi to trust every layer of this. She feels like she keeps looking for the proof of her inconvenience, evidence that she’s a resource rather than a partner or (at worst) a useful idiot who only says “yes” because she hopes that’s how she’ll earn love.

But, no, every sign here points towards sincerity, an effort to include her instead of finding a convenient place to shuffle Megumi out of the way. Maybe she should be less braced for rejection and less prepared to do it first. ]

It’s just different, I guess.

[ And scary because of that. ]

i get it.
i used to think… how could i ever compare to gojo-kun? he’s so handsome, and smart, and way better than i am
like, they have a bond i cant touch and i used to get so mad and upset, but…

[ It’s hard to put her utter faith in Suguru into words. Yuji truly and utterly believes him when he says he loves her and doesn’t want Satoru, even when she’d bullied and badgered him. Even with the depth of their connection, he’d choose her, and has to cling to that trust because otherwise their relationship simply won’t work.

She’s not second best. She’s his wife and he chose her. He loves her.

Yuji would do anything for him, even share him with Gojo, as long as he came back to her when he was done. ]

i’m not special, but he makes me feel like i am
he loves me, and i believe him

maybe he feels the same way about you and me

What the hell do you mean you’re not special?

[ All those other things are good and all, but Megumi is also immediately Activated by this idea that Yuji isn’t special. ]

?????
why are you shouting at me

????????
Why are YOU saying you aren’t special

bc i’m not

Don’t make me come over there.

isnt that the point of this conversation

What

Oh. [ That took her a second. ]

Well.
Look. [ Oops, now she’s flustered – but she recovers quickly. ]

I wouldn’t be talking about this at all with someone who isn’t special.