[ Short, terse, but the question forces him to start thinking instead of sitting in the bubbling emotions. ]
But Yuji's former address is within 25 kilometers of mine.
[ So it's not like it's outside of Mahito's general radius of existence. Suguru just assumed engaging with Yuji again would require too much effort for a man like Mahito, who could so easily move onto another submissive. ]
So it could've been intentional, or it could've been an accident.
[ It wouldn't shock Satoru to imagine that Mahito had somehow found a way to track Yuji down. He leans back, frowning a little as he taps his chin in thought, idly letting the matter roll around in his head. ]
[ Jaw ticking once, he exhales, a few ounces of tension dissipating as he settles against the back of the couch. ]
... Thank you. [ He's calming enough to realize he's being ungrateful for a man who just burst in on his best friend, begging for help and unsure how to even ask for it. ]
[ Hovering for a moment, Satoru sighs, and then shifts to open his arms again, offering it. It's not unusual for them to take comfort in each other, but this is a slightly new dynamic, given their play.
Satoru loves his best friend, and he wants to make sure he's alright. ]
[ The offer of setting down this rage and tension is hard for Suguru to resist. He skeptically assesses Satoru's open arms, a part of him reluctant to settle into the comfort he knows he'll find there, but he can only resist for so long.
Suguru slumps sideways against Satoru's chest, and with the next exhale, sinks into the safe circle of familiarity that he never even has to question. ]
... I just want to keep Yuji safe. [ And right now, he doesn't know how. ]
[ There we are... An idle hand pats on his friend's back, stroking against his spine. It's not the same kind of tenderness that he'd give Megumi if he was upset, but it's what he is used to giving to his friend, the strength of his arms, careful and tender, holding them together by a thread.
It's easier, now they have their submissives each, but... ]
I know. We'll make a plan, Suguru. [ His hand lifts, sinking into his hair and curling around the dark black. ] For now, what would make you feel better?
[ The fingers in his hair, the arms wound around him – Suguru's knotted emotions are slowly picking themselves free, slowly returning to some semblance of steady. ]
... This.
[ This, being held, setting down the weight of his role and their world, just for a few moments. He doesn't let Yuji see him like this, because he knows that it's his job to hold Yuji together, to make him feel safe and secure and protected. That's just part and parcel with living as a dominant – and Suguru can do it and do it well. But nothing about their reality is different, nothing about the structures that enforce their lots in life has changed, and maybe Suguru loves Yuji, but does that mean accepting everything else that he hates? ]
[ It's easy enough for Satoru to continue to be the one in charge here, to be dominant and careful with himself, with Suguru, to make sure that his friend is alright. There's no one in Megumi's past that could hurt him like this, because Satoru had already dealt with anyone that might be a problem; no one in that stupid clan is going to hurt his boy.
He can imagine how angry he would be, if someone threatened his baby. If they tried to do something to hurt Megumi. He can imagine how Suguru is feeling right now.
Leaning his head back, he closes his eyes and hums softly. ]
You can stay here, if you want. There's enough rooms, and Yuji and Megumi can look after each other while we decide what to do.
[ A room in the most untouchable place Suguru can think of. He's so grateful to Gojo that he doesn't even know how to say it, but the way he winds an arm around Satoru finally, pressing his face against the other man's throat and curling into him demonstrates exactly how much this helps. ]
Good. [ Suguru's voice is cold in comparison to how he melts into Satoru. ]
[ Satoru continues to stroke his fingers through his friend’s hair, caring and gentle, curling his other arm around him in a gentle embrace. He has no doubt Megumi is doing the same for Yuji right now, and that makes him feel warm and soft.
Their boys need them. ]
Is there anything we can do for him in the meantime? I saw his face. How he looked.
[ Every ounce of comfort and point of contact seems to soften the jagged edges of Suguru's anger, patching over the reopened wounds that are as much about himself as they are reactions to Yuji and his experiences (whether he can see it that way or not). ]
... I don't have a clue. [ Suguru hates how true that is, too. He doesn't know how to fix this for Yuji, but... ] But I think knowing that we'll be here for a while might help. [ If nothing else, Yuji has far less opportunity to be exposed to Mahito or vulnerable to him at the Gojo estate. That, and Yuji has multiple voices of reassurance and protection here. Suguru has no qualms with how Yuji has found comfort and companionship with Megumi, and it's good to see Yuji opening up in new ways to different people. That means a lot to Suguru.
He lifts his head to glance towards the office door, a small wrinkle crossing his brow. ]
I should get back to him soon. [ He doesn't want to leave Yuji alone for too long or make him feel abandoned after something so intense, but that also means recomposing his mask, putting that calm back into place to guide in his role. He feels off-kilter right now, reacting to emotions he didn't intend to have or didn't even realize were there, but he can cordon those off for later, when his submissive's world hasn't been so seismically shaken. ]
[ Gojo keeps petting at his friend, idly comforting him as his own mind goes into overdrive. They already know where Mahito lives, so it won’t be hard to pay him a visit, or send someone else. He could lull some strings and get legal protection, but that won’t be enough. Knowing the kind of man Mahito probably is, he’ll bend those rules easily.
He’s going to have to dip into dangerous territory.
Focussing back on Suguru, he smiles fondly. ]
You should be honest with him. You can protect him, but let him know that you’re feeling things too. It might make him feel better, to know he’s not the only one shocked by this. Knowing Yuji-kun…
[ Gojo huffs quietly. ]
I’ll bet he’s blaming himself somehow, don’t you think?
Nevertheless, Gojo has a point. Is it really protecting Yuji to hide himself from his submissive or by trying to maintain a sense of calm Suguru doesn't even feel? Suguru isn't used to budging on his vulnerability, and despite his rejection of how society defines them, he still somehow slots himself into those expectations instead of trying to find middle ground with Yuji.
Hm. Maybe a bit ironic, when viewed behind that lens.
Suguru sighs, nodding. ]
You're probably right. Yuji takes on so much weight that he never should have carried.
[ And Suguru needs to help Yuji see that blame was never his to own. With Mahito before and certainly now. They'll definitely need to talk about that.
Suguru rests his chin on Satoru's shoulder, eyes closing thoughtfully. ]
You don't think it's more helpful for me to stay resolute while we deal with this? [ "Resolute" or "avoidant" – same difference. ]
[ Gojo hums, a little idle teasing as he pats at Suguru's hair. ]
We can be resolute for a while, sure. But it'll be good for him to see that his dominant is human, too, and that feeling unsure is fine.
[ It's not the easiest thing in the world. Being a dominant means wanting to be in control, wanting to be in charge. Wanting to be unshakable. There's something powerful in it, just like there is in submission; it's wonderful.
It's hard to give that up. ]
Let him know that he can feel whatever he needs to feel, and you'll take care of him, and vice versa.
Do you think he has the capacity for that right now? [ It feels... selfish, unfair to expect Yuji to weather any of what Suguru is currently feeling. Yuji needs to be taken care of right now, to get to the other side of this trauma; Suguru doesn't know if it's appropriate to present the expectation that Yuji care for him in this process.
Maybe when things calm down, when they have a few more answers, but Suguru doesn't want to create opportunities for Yuji to feel like he's not doing enough. ]
[ The shape Yuji had been in? He needs some time to recover, to adjust to the panic and settle in to his room. Gojo has plenty of clothes and other items the submissive can have, same for Geto, so it's not like they even need to leave.
Just... An adjustment period would be necessary.
Still stroking his fingers through Suguru's hair, against the soft space of the back of his neck, he hums. ]
We'll take care of him. [ And Gojo will take care of Geto. ]
[ Not today, that’s easy enough to settle on. And maybe as Yuji feels more grounded and secure, especially if they’re going to be staying with Gojo and Megumi short-term, Suguru can share a little more, let Yuji experience the humanity that so often gets buried under the role of his dominant. (Ironically, Suguru finds himself defaulting to learned behavior for dominants when he feels off-kilter, but it’s usually more so a reflection of stress than Suguru’s instincts.)
The fingers in his hair help, the gentle kneading at the nape of his neck that makes him sink down against Satoru more completely, coaxing out the remaining threads of tension and anger and anxiety so they can simply dissipate. ]
… Thank you. [ A more genuine, heartfelt gratitude now, his arm tightening around Satoru slightly. Over the years, Suguru hasn’t been as forthright with his emotions as he was when they were teenagers, especially once it became clear that Megumi wasn’t going anywhere. After Satoru collared Megumi permanently, Suguru tried to mind the barrier of their roles diligently enough to draw less curious attention from any observers; they were obviously and irrevocably close, but Suguru retreated the more he interacted with the grander system. Each submissive that crossed Suguru’s doorstep seemed to leave taking another morsel of his sincerity with them, building the resentful walls higher each time – but not Yuji. Brick by brick, Suguru’s love for Yuji has slowly demolished the protective construction of Suguru’s rage and heartbreak, and there’s something significantly more real in Suguru’s affect, more genuine.
Apparently, that extends to his willingness to lean on Gojo, too. ]
[ Satoru laughs softly, a rumble in his chest as his fingers keep stroking through his hair, drawing him close and squeezing him gently. There's a burning warmth inside of him, a fondness that makes him feel as if he might shake into pieces.
They might not be in love with one another, they might not have that same romantic relationship that had been promised when they were younger, but now... Their bond, the thing that joins them together so intimately, is something different, something shifted, something intense.
[ Suguru's small huff of breath is amused but grateful as he lets himself curl into Satoru, clinging to his best friend as much as he rests against him. He'll disentangle himself shortly, go back to check on Yuji, but for a moment... he needs this. ]
I would say this goes a little beyond what I usually ask for.
[ So, yes, it feels like it requires plenty of gratitude. ]
[ It's a little more intimate than they might have been in the past, sure, but to Gojo... It's fine. Megumi wouldn't fault him for it, and he's sure Yuji wouldn't fault his dominant for seeking the support and comfort he needed to, even if it isn't with him.
Breathing out, he closes his eyes, relaxing. ]
It's still fine. I'll just hold it over your head for next time.
[ Another chuff of something near-laughter as Suguru sinks down against Satoru. ]
Next time, huh? Are you planning your own meltdown or are you assuming I'm going to end up here with you more often?
[ Suguru sure hopes this isn't indicative of a trend with his own emotional reactions, but it might be demonstrative of parts of Suguru becoming uncovered by the progress he makes. Maybe actually dealing with this and these feelings will let him be a better friend, a better partner, a better dominant.
[ At least he's doing something to make Suguru feel better, which is enough for him. ]
I just think Yuji is good for you.
[ It's making his friend feel things, let out those emotions that he had been bottling up inside for too long. It means that he's letting out some of that emotional weight, which makes Gojo happier. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Short, terse, but the question forces him to start thinking instead of sitting in the bubbling emotions. ]
But Yuji's former address is within 25 kilometers of mine.
[ So it's not like it's outside of Mahito's general radius of existence. Suguru just assumed engaging with Yuji again would require too much effort for a man like Mahito, who could so easily move onto another submissive. ]
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[ It wouldn't shock Satoru to imagine that Mahito had somehow found a way to track Yuji down. He leans back, frowning a little as he taps his chin in thought, idly letting the matter roll around in his head. ]
Do you want me to see if I can find out more?
[ He has connections. ]
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Let me know if you learn anything.
[ Jaw ticking once, he exhales, a few ounces of tension dissipating as he settles against the back of the couch. ]
... Thank you. [ He's calming enough to realize he's being ungrateful for a man who just burst in on his best friend, begging for help and unsure how to even ask for it. ]
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[ Hovering for a moment, Satoru sighs, and then shifts to open his arms again, offering it. It's not unusual for them to take comfort in each other, but this is a slightly new dynamic, given their play.
Satoru loves his best friend, and he wants to make sure he's alright. ]
Come on, Suguru. Relax for a moment.
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Suguru slumps sideways against Satoru's chest, and with the next exhale, sinks into the safe circle of familiarity that he never even has to question. ]
... I just want to keep Yuji safe. [ And right now, he doesn't know how. ]
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It's easier, now they have their submissives each, but... ]
I know. We'll make a plan, Suguru. [ His hand lifts, sinking into his hair and curling around the dark black. ] For now, what would make you feel better?
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... This.
[ This, being held, setting down the weight of his role and their world, just for a few moments. He doesn't let Yuji see him like this, because he knows that it's his job to hold Yuji together, to make him feel safe and secure and protected. That's just part and parcel with living as a dominant – and Suguru can do it and do it well. But nothing about their reality is different, nothing about the structures that enforce their lots in life has changed, and maybe Suguru loves Yuji, but does that mean accepting everything else that he hates? ]
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He can imagine how angry he would be, if someone threatened his baby. If they tried to do something to hurt Megumi. He can imagine how Suguru is feeling right now.
Leaning his head back, he closes his eyes and hums softly. ]
You can stay here, if you want. There's enough rooms, and Yuji and Megumi can look after each other while we decide what to do.
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That might be a good idea. [ Because god, nothing sounds worse than running into Mahito again right now. ]
I don't want Yuji to be caught off-guard like that again. [ Who knows how much damage this will have done to the slow recovery of Yuji's confidence? ]
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[ Because obviously Suguru and his submissive will only need the one.
Shaking his head a little, Gojo tilts his head back with a sigh. ]
Stay here for as long as it takes. We’ll figure it out. I already know who to call, and after that? We’ll bury that bastard if we have to.
[ It would almost be too fun. ]
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Good. [ Suguru's voice is cold in comparison to how he melts into Satoru. ]
He can't get away with doing this to Yuji.
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[ Satoru continues to stroke his fingers through his friend’s hair, caring and gentle, curling his other arm around him in a gentle embrace. He has no doubt Megumi is doing the same for Yuji right now, and that makes him feel warm and soft.
Their boys need them. ]
Is there anything we can do for him in the meantime? I saw his face. How he looked.
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... I don't have a clue. [ Suguru hates how true that is, too. He doesn't know how to fix this for Yuji, but... ] But I think knowing that we'll be here for a while might help. [ If nothing else, Yuji has far less opportunity to be exposed to Mahito or vulnerable to him at the Gojo estate. That, and Yuji has multiple voices of reassurance and protection here. Suguru has no qualms with how Yuji has found comfort and companionship with Megumi, and it's good to see Yuji opening up in new ways to different people. That means a lot to Suguru.
He lifts his head to glance towards the office door, a small wrinkle crossing his brow. ]
I should get back to him soon. [ He doesn't want to leave Yuji alone for too long or make him feel abandoned after something so intense, but that also means recomposing his mask, putting that calm back into place to guide in his role. He feels off-kilter right now, reacting to emotions he didn't intend to have or didn't even realize were there, but he can cordon those off for later, when his submissive's world hasn't been so seismically shaken. ]
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[ Gojo keeps petting at his friend, idly comforting him as his own mind goes into overdrive. They already know where Mahito lives, so it won’t be hard to pay him a visit, or send someone else. He could lull some strings and get legal protection, but that won’t be enough. Knowing the kind of man Mahito probably is, he’ll bend those rules easily.
He’s going to have to dip into dangerous territory.
Focussing back on Suguru, he smiles fondly. ]
You should be honest with him. You can protect him, but let him know that you’re feeling things too. It might make him feel better, to know he’s not the only one shocked by this. Knowing Yuji-kun…
[ Gojo huffs quietly. ]
I’ll bet he’s blaming himself somehow, don’t you think?
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Nevertheless, Gojo has a point. Is it really protecting Yuji to hide himself from his submissive or by trying to maintain a sense of calm Suguru doesn't even feel? Suguru isn't used to budging on his vulnerability, and despite his rejection of how society defines them, he still somehow slots himself into those expectations instead of trying to find middle ground with Yuji.
Hm. Maybe a bit ironic, when viewed behind that lens.
Suguru sighs, nodding. ]
You're probably right. Yuji takes on so much weight that he never should have carried.
[ And Suguru needs to help Yuji see that blame was never his to own. With Mahito before and certainly now. They'll definitely need to talk about that.
Suguru rests his chin on Satoru's shoulder, eyes closing thoughtfully. ]
You don't think it's more helpful for me to stay resolute while we deal with this? [ "Resolute" or "avoidant" – same difference. ]
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We can be resolute for a while, sure. But it'll be good for him to see that his dominant is human, too, and that feeling unsure is fine.
[ It's not the easiest thing in the world. Being a dominant means wanting to be in control, wanting to be in charge. Wanting to be unshakable. There's something powerful in it, just like there is in submission; it's wonderful.
It's hard to give that up. ]
Let him know that he can feel whatever he needs to feel, and you'll take care of him, and vice versa.
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Do you think he has the capacity for that right now? [ It feels... selfish, unfair to expect Yuji to weather any of what Suguru is currently feeling. Yuji needs to be taken care of right now, to get to the other side of this trauma; Suguru doesn't know if it's appropriate to present the expectation that Yuji care for him in this process.
Maybe when things calm down, when they have a few more answers, but Suguru doesn't want to create opportunities for Yuji to feel like he's not doing enough. ]
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[ The shape Yuji had been in? He needs some time to recover, to adjust to the panic and settle in to his room. Gojo has plenty of clothes and other items the submissive can have, same for Geto, so it's not like they even need to leave.
Just... An adjustment period would be necessary.
Still stroking his fingers through Suguru's hair, against the soft space of the back of his neck, he hums. ]
We'll take care of him. [ And Gojo will take care of Geto. ]
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The fingers in his hair help, the gentle kneading at the nape of his neck that makes him sink down against Satoru more completely, coaxing out the remaining threads of tension and anger and anxiety so they can simply dissipate. ]
… Thank you. [ A more genuine, heartfelt gratitude now, his arm tightening around Satoru slightly. Over the years, Suguru hasn’t been as forthright with his emotions as he was when they were teenagers, especially once it became clear that Megumi wasn’t going anywhere. After Satoru collared Megumi permanently, Suguru tried to mind the barrier of their roles diligently enough to draw less curious attention from any observers; they were obviously and irrevocably close, but Suguru retreated the more he interacted with the grander system. Each submissive that crossed Suguru’s doorstep seemed to leave taking another morsel of his sincerity with them, building the resentful walls higher each time – but not Yuji. Brick by brick, Suguru’s love for Yuji has slowly demolished the protective construction of Suguru’s rage and heartbreak, and there’s something significantly more real in Suguru’s affect, more genuine.
Apparently, that extends to his willingness to lean on Gojo, too. ]
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[ Satoru laughs softly, a rumble in his chest as his fingers keep stroking through his hair, drawing him close and squeezing him gently. There's a burning warmth inside of him, a fondness that makes him feel as if he might shake into pieces.
They might not be in love with one another, they might not have that same romantic relationship that had been promised when they were younger, but now... Their bond, the thing that joins them together so intimately, is something different, something shifted, something intense.
Satoru would do anything for him. ]
You never have to thank me. Not for this.
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I would say this goes a little beyond what I usually ask for.
[ So, yes, it feels like it requires plenty of gratitude. ]
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Breathing out, he closes his eyes, relaxing. ]
It's still fine. I'll just hold it over your head for next time.
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Next time, huh? Are you planning your own meltdown or are you assuming I'm going to end up here with you more often?
[ Suguru sure hopes this isn't indicative of a trend with his own emotional reactions, but it might be demonstrative of parts of Suguru becoming uncovered by the progress he makes. Maybe actually dealing with this and these feelings will let him be a better friend, a better partner, a better dominant.
Who knows? Not him. ]
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I just think Yuji is good for you.
[ It's making his friend feel things, let out those emotions that he had been bottling up inside for too long. It means that he's letting out some of that emotional weight, which makes Gojo happier. ]
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[ Suguru wasn't expecting it, not by a long shot, but Yuji has helped heal and open his heart in ways that Suguru thought were impossible.
He sighs, pressing his forehead against Satoru's neck. ]
I just want to be the right one for him.
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