( The very worst thing about foundation shaking announcements is that the next day you have to go around pretending like nothing has happened and that you're not entirely a half a second away from punching the next person who so much as breathes funny. Geto shouldn't even have left his room, he's sure of it, but the four walls had become oppressive and he'd been too aware of who he shared a hall with, and so. Errands. Which was mostly going to the combini in a quest for cigarettes and soju and soda. Mindless tasks that fill the space in his head.
A can of the latter is precisely what he dangles between chipped nails, held aloft in front of Itadori Yuji's face when he comes across him walking back, patiently waiting for the boy to look up. A part of Geto, small and stupid, wants to be a little upset that he wasn't told, but he knows that's unfounded. Firstly, Itadori is a kid, and secondly he doesn't owe Geto anything. He got attached again all by himself, so the fault is his own. And so there's a deep breath, an exhale, a semi-attempt at a smile. )
Here. It's some kind of limited flavour. I think it's a cherry, but it says mystery on it.
[ The revelation wasn't a shock to Yuji; how could it have been, when he had been there? He had watched Gojo-sensei fight Sukuna, filled with confidence and belief that his teacher would be able to beat the King of Curses with the simple promise of nah, I'd win. There had been no doubt in Yuji's mind, no hesitation, no lack of confidence, until...
Until.
And then it was him, and his own hands, and his own life on the line again. Not that he cares, he'd been willing to risk it, but it stings all the same, painful and hurting and making him feel sick.
Stumbling into Geto, Yuji looks panicked, about ready to turn and run away, but then there's a soda in his hand and his eyes are filling with tears, again, and the only compulsion he has is to sniffle and rub at his face. ]
It's always cherry, Geto-san. That's how they get you.
( He still doesn't know what to do with the boy crying. If it were one of his girls he could distract them with something - food, or company, or treats - but Itadori is a special case and Geto often feels wrongfooted around him. He'd been trying, though lately he's mostly left it to the others. He hadn't thought the boy would need him now Nanami was here too. It doesn't mean he can watch him cry though, and he hasn't truly abandoned him either way. And so Geto shifts his arm to take the bag of his supplies over his wrist, freeing his hand on the other so he can press it gently to his shoulder. )
[ Forcing himself to breathe in and out, Yuji stops himself from breaking down into tears, and that's enough of a fight for him. Looking up, he watches Geto for a moment before he lifts his hand to pat the other man's gently. ]
( Something sweet, something cold, enough to distract as Geto switches course to follow Itadori, boots crisp in the snowfall that's been laying. ) Anywhere in particular or do you want to see where we end up?
( He considers it. The tangled snare of feeling he has, the helpless rage that sits in his chest, the bitterness of his grief, the unnamed emotion he's now attached to Gojo Satoru without care for where it might have him end up. He opens his mouth, closes it. Itadori is a child, and while he's seen far more than he should for his age, is more grown than his peers, Geto can't quite bring himself to add to the burden. So he rifles through his bag to find himself a drink, keeps his footsteps even. )
I'm not going to hurt anyone.
( He doesn't know if Itadori overheard the threat, Geto's emotions spilling out. But he thinks it needs to be said now. )
[ Yuji shifts a little, sipping at his own drink as he watches Geto from the corner of his eye, hesitating. Only then does he manage to find the words. ]
When I woke up here, it was right after. It took me a long time to really... Get over it. It's probably worse for you.
( Is it? He doesn't know. He feels a little raw, like a wound he'd long thought healed over suddenly being sliced back open. The trouble is that he's very good at lying to himself, but only from afar. Maybe he should have tried staying away from Satoru here, too. Maybe he should have drawn a deeper line )
( Quiet, chewing the inside of his cheek for a second. )
Did it change him? Is he different now?
( Because Geto has no way of knowing, really. He could have changed in those ten years. The brief encounters they had weren't enough to tell him. It makes him a little furious, really, all that wasted time. But he'd thought he was doing the right thing. He'd been sure of it. )
You were his student a while, weren't you? So you'd notice.
I think Gojo-sensei is trying his best, but I also think he's probably at least a little sad. He didn't get to beat Sukuna, and he didn't get to see Megumi be saved. But maybe he's happy that he was able to have that kind of fight?
[ He sighs. ]
Sensei always acts really happy, so it's hard to tell what he's actually thinking.
He did that when we were younger too. ( He knows better now, he thinks. He doesn't take it at face value as much. But. ) It used to make me angry. How flippant he'd be. It didn't feel fair. That nothing could touch him.
( That Geto felt like he couldn't. )
I was wrong. I know that now. But things were happening back then that neither of us had a handle on. I wish I'd been there.
( The last bit comes out a little too fervent, air through his teeth. He should have been there. What was it all for, in the end? What good did he do? They should have been the strongest - instead Geto took it all and threw it away. )
[ Yuji breathes out, tears prickling at his eyes again. ]
I really thought he would win. We spent so long trying to free Gojo-sensei from the prison realm so that we could fight together, and he was the strongest that there'd ever been. If Gojo-sensei wasn't able to do it, then...
[ Yuji's voice breaks, just a little. ]
How is someone else meant to? [ A huff of noise, something like a garbled, sad sigh. ] He really should've killed me to begin with, then Sukuna wouldn't have been this kind of a problem.
( He stops walking, turns to Itadori. For a moment there's something unreadable on his expression, but then he's reaching out with his free hand, broad palm on his shoulder. )
He believed in you. He still believes in you. The way he talks about you, Itadori, there's nothing in him that doesn't. He saw enough in you to risk it, and I don't think it was the wrong call. Not at all. It will be hard, and it will take more from you than you'd like, but you'll do it.
( He knows it might, so he can't tell the boy not to die. But there has to be an end to all of it, doesn't there? That senseless loss cannot continue. Not with so many dead. ) And I hope that whatever happens, you get to come back. Satoru would be devastated were he to lose you. Now Nanami too.
action!
A can of the latter is precisely what he dangles between chipped nails, held aloft in front of Itadori Yuji's face when he comes across him walking back, patiently waiting for the boy to look up. A part of Geto, small and stupid, wants to be a little upset that he wasn't told, but he knows that's unfounded. Firstly, Itadori is a kid, and secondly he doesn't owe Geto anything. He got attached again all by himself, so the fault is his own. And so there's a deep breath, an exhale, a semi-attempt at a smile. )
Here. It's some kind of limited flavour. I think it's a cherry, but it says mystery on it.
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Until.
And then it was him, and his own hands, and his own life on the line again. Not that he cares, he'd been willing to risk it, but it stings all the same, painful and hurting and making him feel sick.
Stumbling into Geto, Yuji looks panicked, about ready to turn and run away, but then there's a soda in his hand and his eyes are filling with tears, again, and the only compulsion he has is to sniffle and rub at his face. ]
It's always cherry, Geto-san. That's how they get you.
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Why are you crying? Is cherry really that bad?
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No, it's fine. You know why, Geto-san.
[ He rubs his face. ]
Do you wanna go for a walk?
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( Something sweet, something cold, enough to distract as Geto switches course to follow Itadori, boots crisp in the snowfall that's been laying. ) Anywhere in particular or do you want to see where we end up?
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[ But Yuji does it all the same, popping open the can and taking a long drink of the soda before he glances up at Geto. ]
We can just walk. That's fine with me.
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Do you want to talk about it?
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[ Yuji hums a little, voice quiet. ]
I've had a lot of time to adjust.
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I'm not going to hurt anyone.
( He doesn't know if Itadori overheard the threat, Geto's emotions spilling out. But he thinks it needs to be said now. )
I just needed out.
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[ Yuji shifts a little, sipping at his own drink as he watches Geto from the corner of his eye, hesitating. Only then does he manage to find the words. ]
When I woke up here, it was right after. It took me a long time to really... Get over it. It's probably worse for you.
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Was he here too? When you woke up.
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[ Yuji laughs a little at that, at least, rubbing the back of his head. ]
I found him and cried for a while.
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Did it change him? Is he different now?
( Because Geto has no way of knowing, really. He could have changed in those ten years. The brief encounters they had weren't enough to tell him. It makes him a little furious, really, all that wasted time. But he'd thought he was doing the right thing. He'd been sure of it. )
You were his student a while, weren't you? So you'd notice.
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[ Yuji pauses for a moment, thoughtful. ]
I think Gojo-sensei is trying his best, but I also think he's probably at least a little sad. He didn't get to beat Sukuna, and he didn't get to see Megumi be saved. But maybe he's happy that he was able to have that kind of fight?
[ He sighs. ]
Sensei always acts really happy, so it's hard to tell what he's actually thinking.
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( That Geto felt like he couldn't. )
I was wrong. I know that now. But things were happening back then that neither of us had a handle on. I wish I'd been there.
( The last bit comes out a little too fervent, air through his teeth. He should have been there. What was it all for, in the end? What good did he do? They should have been the strongest - instead Geto took it all and threw it away. )
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[ Yuji breathes out, tears prickling at his eyes again. ]
I really thought he would win. We spent so long trying to free Gojo-sensei from the prison realm so that we could fight together, and he was the strongest that there'd ever been. If Gojo-sensei wasn't able to do it, then...
[ Yuji's voice breaks, just a little. ]
How is someone else meant to? [ A huff of noise, something like a garbled, sad sigh. ] He really should've killed me to begin with, then Sukuna wouldn't have been this kind of a problem.
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He believed in you. He still believes in you. The way he talks about you, Itadori, there's nothing in him that doesn't. He saw enough in you to risk it, and I don't think it was the wrong call. Not at all. It will be hard, and it will take more from you than you'd like, but you'll do it.
( He squeezes that shoulder, tired but sure. )
You will win.
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[ Yuji bows his head, closing his eyes and swallowing back that weird lump of grief inside of him, the one that’s been there for months. ]
I’ll give it everything I have, even if it’s not enough. I’ve been ready to die for months now, so I’ll do whatever it takes. I want it to be enough.
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( He knows it might, so he can't tell the boy not to die. But there has to be an end to all of it, doesn't there? That senseless loss cannot continue. Not with so many dead. ) And I hope that whatever happens, you get to come back. Satoru would be devastated were he to lose you. Now Nanami too.
( And Geto, still holding on to his shoulder. )
You're very brave.
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[ Yuji laughs a little, soft and a little hollow. ]
All the people I love most have died, and they’re all alive here. Why wouldn’t I want to stay?
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( It feels almost like a limbo. He can't quite push it into the realm of a second chance yet. )
You deserve a chance at a life, you deserve to grow old and loved.
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[ He laughs softly. ]
It’s silly to hope for something like that.
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( Or if it is, he's just as silly. What he wouldn't give for his daughters to be here, for Shoko, for Haibara. He understands Itadori's longing. )
That's just being alive, isn't it? We want those we love around us. Maybe they will. Nanami came back, didn't he? You said he went. So there's hope.
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[ Yuji bows his head. ]
All I want is for them to be happy. That’s all I want.
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( It's a weight, he knows. But he's also very much aware of how Itadori feels about himself. Anything to encourage life is good. )
That's what matters the most.
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RACHEL I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT ATTROCIOUS LAST REPLY WHY DID I REPEAT 'A WAY' SO MANY TIMES
DOES IT HELP THAT I DIDNT NOTICE
MAYBE
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