[ Yuji should definitely be alarmed by the idea of 'hurting him' being attractive, but right now all he can think about is the thrum of his pulse in his veins and the way he stares at Suguru, filled with some kind of desperation he can't name.
It's not quite want, or desire, but a sense of security. If he wants to hurt, this man will hurt him. Isn't that enough?
Leaning into the touch, closing his eyes, Yuji nods, hand shaking a little. He feels filthy, somehow, but secure. ]
I... We can try it. Maybe not right now, but... Next time?
[ Turning his head, Yuji chases Suguru as he moves back, pressing their mouths together in a quick, gentle kiss, biting at his mouth before he nods.
He needs to clean up. The shame is still there, a twisting, uncomfortable weight inside of him, but he can't ignore it. He can't shove it away. It exists because he lets it. ]
[ Nope, not just leaving Yuji to his own devices right now.
Suguru gets to his feet, pushing off his light sweats and kicking them out of the way before he goes over to the showerheads to start the water. ]
Leave the knife by the sink, would you? [ Because he'll either figure out where it was supposed to go and where it came from or he'll just keep it in the kitchen for now. ]
[ Yuji swallows as he pushes himself up, trying not to slip on the blood - his own blood - colouring the inside of Gojo-sensei's fancy bathtub. He's going to have to really clean that up later...
At least his technique has healed his cuts, and he reaches to grab the knife and place it aside, hesitating. If Suguru takes it from him, and he can't have it as a safety net any more...
Shaking his head, he tugs off his shirt, kicking off his sweatpants, looking small and awkward as he stands and waits for the shower. ]
[ Realistically, Suguru knows that Yuji could probably find another knife or a razor blade, if he felt that determined. But he also wants to emphasize the idea that Yuji isn't going to sneak off to do this to himself anymore, that he'll come to Suguru when he needs something like this to quiet the pain in his heart. So he's pleased when Yuji leaves the knife aside, though he doesn't comment.
Fingers test the water temperature, and then Suguru reaches his hand out to Yuji, inviting him close to step into the shower spray. ]
Come here.
[ Come to be comforted, come to be loved. The solution isn't any less fucked than the entirety of their situation, but at least Yuji isn't alone. ]
[ Yuji trusts a great number of people - Gojo-sensei, Fushiguro, Kugisaki, even some of his senpai - but there's no one he trusts like Suguru. This man is the one that he loves most, the one that has seen his darkness and accepts him anyway, both of them having that same understanding with one another.
It doesn't matter what awful things that Yuji does. Suguru will take him into his arm and cherish him all the same.
Breathing out, he steps over and into the shower, immediately pressing his body into Suguru's, pressing his face into his chest. That way, he doesn't have to watch the scarlet blood drain away, as if his sins were that easily removed. ]
[ Arm winding immediately around Yuji, Suguru rests his chin on top of the boy's head under the spray of water, unbothered by the swirls of red circling the drain. ]
I'm here. [ Here for Yuji and going nowhere, as long as Gojo allows it. Maybe Gojo would change his mind about bringing Yuji here if he knew about this little bargain, but Suguru considers details private.
[ Yuji sinks into his body immediately, both his arms curling around Suguru's narrow waist. ]
... Thank you.
[ He nuzzles into the older man's chest, breathing out a soft sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. It's warm here, and not just because of the water... It's the safety of it. ]
[ Suguru hums with acknowledgement, though it takes him a few seconds longer of holding Yuji before he reaches out to shut off the water. He decides not to let go of the teenager, but that means shuffling him away from the shower and towards the stack of clean towels nearby. The tub can be a problem for tomorrow; right now, Suguru cares more about grabbing the fluffy, dry towels to drape one over Yuji's shoulders. (Harder to do one-handed, but he pulls it off.) ]
Don't worry about cleaning anything tonight. We'll deal with it later, hm?
[ The towel wraps around him, and Yuji doesn't bother attempting to start drying himself. Instead, he moves closer, sinking into Suguru's body again, not wanting to let go.
His technique has already done the job of healing any lingering marks and removing the threat of scars, so he has no hesitation when it comes to squeezing his arms around his lover, kissing the damp skin of his chest.
[ Suguru winds his one arm around Yuji, nuzzling into his hair again as he lets the boy cling, not minding that he hasn't wrapped himself up in the other towel yet. ]
It's not like Satoru is going to see it, and I think we'd both rather be in bed right now.
[ Who cares about a little dried blood in the tub? Not Suguru. ]
[ Yuji leans up into him, kissing at Suguru’s jaw, yearning for him. Wanting him. He’s not sure how to vocalise it, his hands shaking a little as he grabs at his lover. ]
Take me to bed. Look after me, Suguru. Just for tonight, please.
[ That’s not what Yuji usually asks for, it’s not who they are right now, but… He wants it. ]
[ It's not often Suguru is left trying to decipher Yuji these days, but he's not sure what to make of the tremble in Yuji's touch, the neediness that feels as vulnerable and naked as Yuji's bare skin. He feels... fragile. Breakable. ]
Look after you, hmm?
[ That's what Yuji deserves, something in the back of Suguru's mind thinks. Yuji deserves to be looked after, to be taken care of, to be loved and adored and treated kindly.
He's apparently not such a monster that he can cast aside Yuji's soft plea right off the bat.
Unwrapping his arm, Suguru reaches up and tucks his fingers under Yuji's chin, tilting his face to Suguru's. ]
I think I can remember how to do that. [ And he leans in, brushing a far gentler kiss over Yuji's lips. ]
[ Suguru might say that he doesn’t have much kindness or softness left in him these days, but Yuji knows otherwise. Maybe it’s reserved just for him, but there’s a tenderness here that’s impossible to hide or pretend, borne of love and affection.
They do take care of each other. That hasn’t changed. ]
You do it anyway.
[ Yuji leans up and into the kiss, nuzzling his face against his lover’s gently, smiling with a warmth he can’t hide despite the tears prickling at his eyes. He still hurts, but it’s better now. Just enough.
[ Suguru leans in to brush a kiss under Yuji's eye and those glimmering tears before he drops his arm from around Yuji, stepping away to dry himself and then hang the towel. No longer dripping wet, he guides Yuji out of the bathroom, down the hall, and back to the bedroom.
Back to the bed, back to crawling under blankets so Suguru can draw Yuji against his chest, into the protective circle of his arm. No rough grabbing or the sting of teeth, Suguru is gentle about his kisses, reaching up to pet his hair, his face, exploring every scar and divot of the boy's skin. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's not quite want, or desire, but a sense of security. If he wants to hurt, this man will hurt him. Isn't that enough?
Leaning into the touch, closing his eyes, Yuji nods, hand shaking a little. He feels filthy, somehow, but secure. ]
I... We can try it. Maybe not right now, but... Next time?
no subject
No, not tonight. [ Shifting up on his knees, he leans over to press a kiss to Yuji's forehead. ]
Why don't we get you cleaned up for now and go back to bed?
no subject
He needs to clean up. The shame is still there, a twisting, uncomfortable weight inside of him, but he can't ignore it. He can't shove it away. It exists because he lets it. ]
I can just shower, if you want to go back to bed.
no subject
[ Nope, not just leaving Yuji to his own devices right now.
Suguru gets to his feet, pushing off his light sweats and kicking them out of the way before he goes over to the showerheads to start the water. ]
Leave the knife by the sink, would you? [ Because he'll either figure out where it was supposed to go and where it came from or he'll just keep it in the kitchen for now. ]
no subject
[ Yuji swallows as he pushes himself up, trying not to slip on the blood - his own blood - colouring the inside of Gojo-sensei's fancy bathtub. He's going to have to really clean that up later...
At least his technique has healed his cuts, and he reaches to grab the knife and place it aside, hesitating. If Suguru takes it from him, and he can't have it as a safety net any more...
Shaking his head, he tugs off his shirt, kicking off his sweatpants, looking small and awkward as he stands and waits for the shower. ]
no subject
Fingers test the water temperature, and then Suguru reaches his hand out to Yuji, inviting him close to step into the shower spray. ]
Come here.
[ Come to be comforted, come to be loved. The solution isn't any less fucked than the entirety of their situation, but at least Yuji isn't alone. ]
no subject
It doesn't matter what awful things that Yuji does. Suguru will take him into his arm and cherish him all the same.
Breathing out, he steps over and into the shower, immediately pressing his body into Suguru's, pressing his face into his chest. That way, he doesn't have to watch the scarlet blood drain away, as if his sins were that easily removed. ]
Suguru...
no subject
I'm here. [ Here for Yuji and going nowhere, as long as Gojo allows it. Maybe Gojo would change his mind about bringing Yuji here if he knew about this little bargain, but Suguru considers details private.
He and Yuji can keep their secrets together. ]
no subject
... Thank you.
[ He nuzzles into the older man's chest, breathing out a soft sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. It's warm here, and not just because of the water... It's the safety of it. ]
We don't need to wash my hair or anything, so...
no subject
[ Suguru hums with acknowledgement, though it takes him a few seconds longer of holding Yuji before he reaches out to shut off the water. He decides not to let go of the teenager, but that means shuffling him away from the shower and towards the stack of clean towels nearby. The tub can be a problem for tomorrow; right now, Suguru cares more about grabbing the fluffy, dry towels to drape one over Yuji's shoulders. (Harder to do one-handed, but he pulls it off.) ]
Don't worry about cleaning anything tonight. We'll deal with it later, hm?
no subject
His technique has already done the job of healing any lingering marks and removing the threat of scars, so he has no hesitation when it comes to squeezing his arms around his lover, kissing the damp skin of his chest.
Yuji loves him. So much. ]
If you're sure... I don't mind...
no subject
[ Suguru winds his one arm around Yuji, nuzzling into his hair again as he lets the boy cling, not minding that he hasn't wrapped himself up in the other towel yet. ]
It's not like Satoru is going to see it, and I think we'd both rather be in bed right now.
[ Who cares about a little dried blood in the tub? Not Suguru. ]
no subject
[ Yuji leans up into him, kissing at Suguru’s jaw, yearning for him. Wanting him. He’s not sure how to vocalise it, his hands shaking a little as he grabs at his lover. ]
Take me to bed. Look after me, Suguru. Just for tonight, please.
[ That’s not what Yuji usually asks for, it’s not who they are right now, but… He wants it. ]
no subject
Look after you, hmm?
[ That's what Yuji deserves, something in the back of Suguru's mind thinks. Yuji deserves to be looked after, to be taken care of, to be loved and adored and treated kindly.
He's apparently not such a monster that he can cast aside Yuji's soft plea right off the bat.
Unwrapping his arm, Suguru reaches up and tucks his fingers under Yuji's chin, tilting his face to Suguru's. ]
I think I can remember how to do that. [ And he leans in, brushing a far gentler kiss over Yuji's lips. ]
no subject
They do take care of each other. That hasn’t changed. ]
You do it anyway.
[ Yuji leans up and into the kiss, nuzzling his face against his lover’s gently, smiling with a warmth he can’t hide despite the tears prickling at his eyes. He still hurts, but it’s better now. Just enough.
It has to be. ]
… Bed?
no subject
[ Suguru leans in to brush a kiss under Yuji's eye and those glimmering tears before he drops his arm from around Yuji, stepping away to dry himself and then hang the towel. No longer dripping wet, he guides Yuji out of the bathroom, down the hall, and back to the bedroom.
Back to the bed, back to crawling under blankets so Suguru can draw Yuji against his chest, into the protective circle of his arm. No rough grabbing or the sting of teeth, Suguru is gentle about his kisses, reaching up to pet his hair, his face, exploring every scar and divot of the boy's skin. ]
I've got you.