Last week, Yuji used his safeword during a scene. I was trying to help him realize that it wasn't a failure or reflective of him or my opinion of him. But we ended up talking about my placements, and after I explained myself, he shutdown.
He's been off all week, but we got dinged on a random inspection. There was an inspector from the center here this afternoon, and Yuji was just. How he was before. Until they left and he wouldn't even look at me.
[ Even if he's being a selfish motherfucker right now. But that's worse, isn't it? Intentionally putting himself in Yuji's path is different from accepting a placement; choosing to keep Yuji, he's inflicting himself on an abused teenager who's never known true stability or security in his dynamics. Why should Yuji pick up the pieces of a grown man who can't do it himself? ]
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what this time?
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[ Suguru doesn't have the energy for their usual reparté, so he gets right to the point: ]
Yuji is packing his stuff right now.
1/2
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But we ended up talking about my placements, and after I explained myself, he shutdown.
He's been off all week, but we got dinged on a random inspection. There was an inspector from the center here this afternoon, and Yuji was just.
How he was before.
Until they left and he wouldn't even look at me.
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that you don't keep them around, that kind of thing??
you really fucked up suguru
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And I tried to explain it was because of me, not because of anything to do with him.
Look, I fucking KNOW. Why do you think I'm texting you while he's packing his shit?
I just
I don't know what to do.
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Because I keep thinking he's probably making the right choice.
He'd be better off with someone less hateful.
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poor yuji-kun
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He doesn't even know ME.
He loves the dominant, he won't like the rest of it.
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then you should let him go.
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I thought so too.
[ Even if he's being a selfish motherfucker right now. But that's worse, isn't it? Intentionally putting himself in Yuji's path is different from accepting a placement; choosing to keep Yuji, he's inflicting himself on an abused teenager who's never known true stability or security in his dynamics. Why should Yuji pick up the pieces of a grown man who can't do it himself? ]
Thanks for the pep talk.
1/ idk he's annoying
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ok done actually
otherwise you're going to break both your hearts
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But I'm worried I'll break his heart if he stays.
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and a definitely breaking it if he leaves
seems obvious suguru
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[ Apparently, that's Suguru's version of "you're right." ]
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