It was what I needed to do. It's not like I did it just to be kind of anything like that, but... I'm just glad it all worked out, and we managed to save as many people as we could. I'm sorry that it wasn't more, honesty.
[ He feels just a little bit emotional and embarrassed now, despite his smiling softly. ]
And... I came out of it still Yuji. That's enough for me.
[ Although Yuta understands the feeling all too well — is painfully aware of all the ways he failed in Shinjuku, how he could have planned better, how Maki had just perfectly voiced everything he'd been thinking himself — he shakes his head in gentle reproach. ]
No, you did more than enough. [ They would have failed without him, undoubtedly. ] But that's the thing, not everyone can come out of all of that and still be the same person, so please don't ever lose that.
[ An unfair request to make? Maybe. But if anyone can (continue to) do it, it'll be Yuji. ]
That's all that Yuji has ever done - tried his best, done what he can for others, to follow his moral and try and keep it all together. It's taken so much out of him and he knows that, he knows he's not the same person as he was before, still dealing with all that doubt and grief, but...
[ Yuta smiles and nods. That's really all anyone can ask, isn't it? He can't claim to even particularly try to retain himself when he's so readily thrown away his humanity. His own fate was sealed the second Gojo died. The consequences of the actions he hadn't even expected to survive are still catching up to him, a hint of them hidden in the deepening of the perpetual bruises under his eyes. He has not come out unscathed or unchanged — something chipped away in his sense of self — and yet he will continue to twist and bend and break himself in whatever ways he might deem necessary because he lacks the capacity to care about himself. (And because someone always has to do what's unpleasant and necessary, it might as well be him.)
But Yuji is different; he has a light and a disposition that's worth protecting and preserving no matter what. Yuta would hate to see it changed. ]
[ Yuji was in the same boat as Yuta, in a way. He was prepared to sacrifice as much of himself as it took, to eat whatever he needed to, to push and train his body to the limits if that's what was necessary to save Megumi. He's still sour and mad that Yuta didn't bother to tell him the plan before it happened, that Gojo-sensei kept it from him, but...
He knows why. He understands, eve if it makes him angry if he thinks about it for too long, but he can't change it now.
[ Frankly, Yuta does not fault anyone for being mad at him. Maki might have been the only one to voice it in the aftermath, but he knows she can't be alone in the sentiment when he's blatantly gone against the other's wishes regarding the plan and kept Yuji in the dark entirely. He would think it only fair if Yuji and Gojo (permission or not) were to shun him now for his actions. That they don't is a selfish relief.
It will probably make it all the worse if it's discovered that he's going behind their backs to collude with Geto (of all people) to take care of the Sukuna problem on their own, but it's yet another thing deemed necessary and he's prepared for whatever consequences that might incur down the line.
But at least today is a happy day, Yuji's day, and everything unpleasant can be momentarily put aside for it. ]
Sure! I've always wanted to try out an arcade.
[ That... sure implies he's never even been to one before... ]
[ In hindsight, it's obvious why he wasn't told. If there was any chance of it happening, Yuji would have tried to stop it, to do anything to protect Gojo and the others, even at risk of himself. He never saw himself as any kind of secret weapon or trump card, and the idea that either of them would do something so haunting...
It's probably a good thing he's so forgiving, in the end. He's willing to let this go, because he understands going to such extreme lengths. Hadn't he done the same by eating his brothers? Hadn't he done the same by swapping bodies and cheating?
[ The concern had primarily been that there might be some kind of remaining link between Yuji and Sukuna that would allow the King of Curses to learn of their plans. It's the same reason Yuta would argue applies in this place as well when Sukuna has some mysterious way to make himself look like Yuji.
Truthfully, that's just an excuse though.
What worries him far more is Yuji's willingness to turn himself into a vessel again. It's not a plan he wants to consider, even if it is a valid one. Having gone through his inventory of techniques, he knows he no longer possesses Angel's and that means he has no way of separating them and saving Yuji if they were to share a body again. If worse comes to worst (which it always does in their experiences) it could potentially mean that Yuta will be forced to uphold the very first promise he made to Yuji. He doesn't want that; will do anything to avoid having to kill a friend, doesn't want to find out if he's capable of that. He'd much rather take on the burden of taking care of it, share it only with a former enemy who's out for revenge anyway.
It's only at the question that Yuta realizes the strangeness of what he said and promptly turns sheepish. ]
I... ah, didn't go out much when I was younger.
[ Not after the age of ten. It's a delicate way of putting the increasing amount of isolation he'd been forced to put himself in as Rika only got more and more volatile and her jealous violence towards others started escalating over the years. ]
I didn't have a lot of friends before Gojo-sensei transferred me either, so I get it.
[ For different reasons.
Yuji was personable, sure, and he was friendly with others, but at the same time... He never really got close. He didn't stick around for clubs too often because of his grandpa, and he spent long enough avoiding the track and field teams to try and focus on other things that close friendships were out of his mind. It's Megumi and Kugisaki that changed things for him, and now he has so many other friends.
It's easy enough, though, and he looks at Yuta with a bright smile. ]
There's a great laser tag place we can try that Katsuki and I really like.
[ That gets a surprised blink. Yuji always seems so easy to get along with, it's hard to imagine him not surrounded by friends wherever he goes. But then, Yuta had been quite a different person before he got to Jujutsu High himself so maybe it's not that surprising. The sort of friendships forged there are also unlike any other. It can hardly be compared to a regular school with casual friendships between classmates. Becoming a Jujutsu sorcerer changes you.
It's a little reassuring that they're alike in this too, though. It makes Yuta feel less self-conscious, his smile losing that sheepish tint for genuine excitement. ]
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Yuji rubs the back of his head awkwardly. ]
It was what I needed to do. It's not like I did it just to be kind of anything like that, but... I'm just glad it all worked out, and we managed to save as many people as we could. I'm sorry that it wasn't more, honesty.
[ He feels just a little bit emotional and embarrassed now, despite his smiling softly. ]
And... I came out of it still Yuji. That's enough for me.
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No, you did more than enough. [ They would have failed without him, undoubtedly. ] But that's the thing, not everyone can come out of all of that and still be the same person, so please don't ever lose that.
[ An unfair request to make? Maybe. But if anyone can (continue to) do it, it'll be Yuji. ]
And it's worth celebrating, no?
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[ Which is true.
That's all that Yuji has ever done - tried his best, done what he can for others, to follow his moral and try and keep it all together. It's taken so much out of him and he knows that, he knows he's not the same person as he was before, still dealing with all that doubt and grief, but...
He's better, too. He had to be. ]
Let's have as much fun as we can!
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But Yuji is different; he has a light and a disposition that's worth protecting and preserving no matter what. Yuta would hate to see it changed. ]
Yeah! What do you want to do? It's your big day.
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He knows why. He understands, eve if it makes him angry if he thinks about it for too long, but he can't change it now.
Instead, he focuses on the present, and beams. ]
Do you wanna go try out the arcades?
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It will probably make it all the worse if it's discovered that he's going behind their backs to collude with Geto (of all people) to take care of the Sukuna problem on their own, but it's yet another thing deemed necessary and he's prepared for whatever consequences that might incur down the line.
But at least today is a happy day, Yuji's day, and everything unpleasant can be momentarily put aside for it. ]
Sure! I've always wanted to try out an arcade.
[ That... sure implies he's never even been to one before... ]
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It's probably a good thing he's so forgiving, in the end. He's willing to let this go, because he understands going to such extreme lengths. Hadn't he done the same by eating his brothers? Hadn't he done the same by swapping bodies and cheating?
It's enough that he understands his part in it. ]
Senpai... You've never been before?
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Truthfully, that's just an excuse though.
What worries him far more is Yuji's willingness to turn himself into a vessel again. It's not a plan he wants to consider, even if it is a valid one. Having gone through his inventory of techniques, he knows he no longer possesses Angel's and that means he has no way of separating them and saving Yuji if they were to share a body again. If worse comes to worst (which it always does in their experiences) it could potentially mean that Yuta will be forced to uphold the very first promise he made to Yuji. He doesn't want that; will do anything to avoid having to kill a friend, doesn't want to find out if he's capable of that. He'd much rather take on the burden of taking care of it, share it only with a former enemy who's out for revenge anyway.
It's only at the question that Yuta realizes the strangeness of what he said and promptly turns sheepish. ]
I... ah, didn't go out much when I was younger.
[ Not after the age of ten. It's a delicate way of putting the increasing amount of isolation he'd been forced to put himself in as Rika only got more and more volatile and her jealous violence towards others started escalating over the years. ]
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[ For different reasons.
Yuji was personable, sure, and he was friendly with others, but at the same time... He never really got close. He didn't stick around for clubs too often because of his grandpa, and he spent long enough avoiding the track and field teams to try and focus on other things that close friendships were out of his mind. It's Megumi and Kugisaki that changed things for him, and now he has so many other friends.
It's easy enough, though, and he looks at Yuta with a bright smile. ]
There's a great laser tag place we can try that Katsuki and I really like.
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[ That gets a surprised blink. Yuji always seems so easy to get along with, it's hard to imagine him not surrounded by friends wherever he goes. But then, Yuta had been quite a different person before he got to Jujutsu High himself so maybe it's not that surprising. The sort of friendships forged there are also unlike any other. It can hardly be compared to a regular school with casual friendships between classmates. Becoming a Jujutsu sorcerer changes you.
It's a little reassuring that they're alike in this too, though. It makes Yuta feel less self-conscious, his smile losing that sheepish tint for genuine excitement. ]
That sounds fun, I'd like to try!