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yuji "old man whisperer" itadori. ([personal profile] eyescar) wrote2011-12-07 05:35 pm

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VESSEL
CHARACTER NAME ITADORI YUJI
CIVILIAN NAME RYOUTOKU WASUKE
TEAM EVERLIGHT
HOUSING NUMBER 010
stresspoint: (pic#16830291)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-26 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Kugisaki-san agreed to tutoring if the two of you attended.

[ He's the one deflating now, because this feels wrong in every way, but Nanami feels responsible for them. ]

I'm not a teacher, but if it's regarding your future, I suppose in a way I'm still partially responsible for giving you opportunities where I can.

[ And Yuji did leave that in the little note. Nanami is trying very hard not to end up hurting Yuji with too much attachment, especially after what happened, but he also feels guilty for accepting gifts from Yuji without reciprocating. This is a serious dilemma for him. ]

If you and Fushiguro-kun don't object, then I can stand in until we find a better replacement...

[ This counts as helping, right? Without leaving too much of a mark on him. ]
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-27 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ He pauses, looking at Yuji with a reserved frown. What does he want? It isn't fair to ask that. What he wants is quiet and a boring, peaceful life. He wants sleep. And to have the opportunity not to think about all the weight and pain that exist and that they have to bear. That's what most people want, right?

Except he doesn't. Not entirely, at least. Looking across the table, what he wants to say is that he really wants Yuji to live a good life, to be happy, and to be able to move forward without any regret left. And he can't give Yuji that. He can do a lot for him, but he can't remove the world of regrets. But maybe he can work with him, piece by piece, to remove a little of something--the damage he knows was done already. By all of them, leaving those emotionally scars.

Hopefully this is the right thing. He's still breathing, so he can't just go back on it. ]


When are you trouble for me? Since we are here, it's better that we remain in contact and learn as much as we can. If it's not schooling, then at least trading information is vital.
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-27 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't often feel judged. Even by Gojo, who Nanami is never entirely sure he can follow. The man's thought processes are well beyond his line of reasoning, but even still, it's hard to make Nanami feel the weight of being assessed by anyone. He's his own judge first.

But he feels it when Yuji watches him. He can see the deliberation, feel the way the young man works out what to do about him--and he's proud of that look. Despite himself, he feels that swell of warmth that seems like it pulls away the tension. Even when Yuji deflates in front of him, Nanami feels more at ease. ]


It wouldn't be so bad, would it?

[ He's half musing to himself, thinking out loud against the strange shift in pressure he's not used to feeling. He doesn't even realize at the moment that it isn't a weight, but the lack of weight that he's experiencing. It's just different enough to be unfamiliar and confusing. The realization will come later. ]

If you need a teacher anyway, it would make more sense to start from a familiar point, and sorcerers will understand other sorcerers better than anyone else. I would rather make sure you aren't learning anything inappropriate anyway. There are too many eyes in the city to be sure you aren't being monitored by someone else.
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-27 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
You should pick your instructors based on their actual knowledge and qualifications, Itadori-kun.

[ He's definitely not trained to be a teacher, and if it's knowledge of jujutsu techniques, he knows there are also more qualified people for that. But for basics, for foundations, and maybe for something else that the other instructors lack (he won't name what that is), Nanami thinks that maybe there really was a reason Gojo had turned to him. He had thought their strongest had been pawning Yuji off a little at the time, doing what Gojo often does, but did he actually know how much the young man would come to mean to him? Trust your senior. Had he already seen it then? Nanami had wanted to avoid the actual teaching aspect of work, but that also feels like another lifetime. Another piece of him left behind in the station. ]

However, they say teaching is one of the best ways to learn. I want you to receive actual instruction and not ignore all aspects of this life, so I can also train as we go, as long as you accept that.

[ He says it seriously, so that he can't hear the beating of his own heart. This isn't the time to let those simple, kind words affect him. Nanami realizes that he misses his sunglasses now, but instead of trying to hide his face, he breathes, in and out, slowly. ]

In any case, I hardly think you three can be more challenging than defeating curse spirits. Please don't learn from your previous instructor and underestimate me.
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-28 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't bother to argue the differences between office work and education. Not for this particular moment. Yuji's emotional investment is an understood truth, and Nanami is well aware that trying to pick every fight over minor details is only going to work against him in the end. Yuji's enthusiasm is refreshing. It reminds him of better times, something he had put behind him.

And he's not Gojo. He knows there's simply no comparison, not just in strength, but in the energy they all have. He will never match that. It's a separation he never wanted to bridge. ]


"Pretty determined."

[ He raises his eyebrow, giving Yuji a look that clearly says he is taking that as a backhanded compliment. But there's no anger in his expression. If anything, he's fighting a smile, because he can't allow that to take root. Even after going through so much loss and suffering, somehow Yuji is still the same as ever, bright and determined. Innocent when he shouldn't be. Only he would still be able to worry about whether Nanami might be treating him as just a job after everything he lived through. If he smiles now, like this, then it really might end up holding Yuji back later. ]

Why are you worried about that? You've dealt with other instructors, and despite what they may say, they treat their work as work. Even the ones who like to play too much.

[ They are always working. That's what they do. He does understand Yuji's point, though, and Nanami sighs a little. ]

Do you trust me?
stresspoint: (pic#16844261)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-28 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's strange, seeing Yuji now and knowing the change between them. It's so simple, just right in front of him: he's good, but he's no longer at the level to match Itadori Yuji. Just like that, and the difference is there. Nanami shouldn't be alive to see it--he had been content to let go--but now that he is, it almost feels like he's looking at yet another Gojo, someone he also trusts but can't reach. Only Yuji is being careful with him, and Nanami can see that. ]

You can trust me with this.

[ Even if he's falling back in on the same feeling as before, even if he can't stop himself from trying to protect people in front of him regardless of his own life.

Even if he's doing something he doesn't love to do.

He's just not the type of person to worry about his own needs or wishes if there's still work to be done. Yuji is trying to give him back a gift he already surrendered a long time ago, and to Nanami daydreaming about lost time is a wonderful but ultimately intangible fantasy. Things that he wanted, even things he still wants--they are all pointless if he can't live with himself first. The future he dreamed of was already handed over to Yuji himself with a blessing from someone he never met but who would have loved him. Nanami just has to get him there. ]


I choose this. Because it's work that I can do and because you should have it. It's the adult's responsibility as the one who goes first to take care of those that follow, not the other way around. This is my job, and it's one I accepted as a personal request. It has nothing to do with official work.

[ It was never really about what the rest of the jujutsu world wanted to begin with. He just needed to see Yuji properly guided forward with the support they had never felt. ]

Itadori-kun, if I don't do this, what else will I do?
stresspoint: (pic#16852223)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-29 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
[ Across from Yuji, who is definitely thinking some frustrated and complicated thoughts, Nanami watches. He's fairly relaxed now that he's said his piece and gotten a feel for the situation. He might not be sure either about how things will go, but worrying about that already feels like something outside of his concern. He does what he can and that is enough. His only real concern is the way that Yuji seems to be seriously wrestling with his decision, and Nanami can hazard a guess as to why.

And then he doesn't have to guess, because Yuji says it. Leave it to Yuji to put things right out in the open and follow his feelings with that innocent bluntness. As strong and as battle-experienced as he is, he's still young, and he makes it so Nanami can't forget that. ]


I appreciate your concern for me, Itadori-kun, but you and I are both sorcerers. Even if there were somewhere else to go, that's not an option I could take.

[ Will he understand? What Nanami wants for himself and what he can do for others are in conflict, but he's already made his choice. It matters enough to the few he can reach, and even if that means throwing away a second or third chance at life, as a jujutsu sorcerer, he doesn't actually regret doing it. Tired, sometimes angry and probably a little broken, Nanami can still appreciate the things they do for people who can't. ]

Whether it's curses there or monsters here, fighting or teaching, there's still a job to do. Our lives are filled with things we want to do and things we have to do, and we can't only choose what we want out of life.

[ He makes sure to meet Yuji's eyes for the next part: ]

But I don't have any regrets. Assisting you and the other students and staff was my choice. I wouldn't be satisfied letting you fight if I still have some breath left. I stand by what I said before, but I also still need to keep going if I can. Don't worry. I don't like to rush things anyway.
stresspoint: (pic#16830288)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2023-12-29 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

[ Because he's not really going to argue with Yuji. Arguing is exhausting and Nanami has rarely found it worth the effort. He will simply find a way around it, and keep doing what he sets his mind to, and that's what he's always done. But for Yuji, Nanami makes a little more effort. He wants him to understand that they aren't different. He might have a low opinion of jujutsu society overall, but his reason for being a sorcerer is the same reason that brought him to Yuji in the first place--Gojo had seen it, and he had relied on Nanami's nature as much as his experience. He was a little annoyed at first when he realized what Gojo was doing, but Yuji had changed that. Now he wants to change Yuji's mind in return. ]

You can argue, but it won't stop me.

[ Just so they both know. He doesn't even sound that tired, somehow gaining a little more energy from talking to Yuji. ]

That's what teaching is for. If you already knew the answers, there would be no point. Don't worry about that.

[ What exactly did he do before? Maybe Gojo really didn't pay much attention to their lessons. Nanami sighs thinking about that. ]

By the way, I expect you to take studying seriously. Don't treat it with a low priority just because you don't enjoy it.

[ He definitely had this exchange with Nobara before. ]
stresspoint: (pic#16909354)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2024-01-01 10:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ He tilts his head at that statement. Yuji? Calling him stubborn? His expression doesn't really change, but there's definitely a quiet acknowledgment of the humor in that kind of declaration. The young man who started their relationship ready to hit the ground running and never stop describing him as stubborn after knowing his history feels like a joke. But since Yuji doesn't joke about his focus, Nanami just clears his throat quietly.

He can only shoot the young man a look over his coffee when Yuji says he always turned in his work. Someone that Gojo was so drawn to doesn't give him a lot of faith in Yuji's academic focus. ]


I'll be sure to remind you that you said that later.
stresspoint: (pic#16830300)

[personal profile] stresspoint 2024-01-04 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ He knew it was coming, but he still grimaces. ]

I'd prefer if you didn't.

[ Because he definitely isn't really that, and maybe they'll eventually pull up a better choice. But he doesn't completely reject the idea anyway. ]
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2024-01-04 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The look he gives Yuji is flat, but it's already something that was decided long ago. ]

You don't have to celebrate.

[ Stop laughing at him. ]
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[personal profile] stresspoint 2024-01-04 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Itadori-kun.

[He can still lift you over this table, don't test him.]