Katsuki lets the connection idle as he faces the window again. It feels as if it's only been a few days since Yuji left a similar message in his head, bringing with it a rush of emotions the sorcerer's probably feeling right now. When Yuji knocks on the door, the automated function kicks in and slides its panel open with a gentle hiss. Evening glow fills the room with a warm orange, highlighting Denji's sleeping form on Katsuki's bed. His disappearance at midnight did nothing to help his boyfriend's trauma, nor the long hours through that dark time until Katsuki reappeared in the morning light. Took him all day to calm Denji down until he was able to sleep again.
A bowl of half-eaten rice with toppings fills the room with a savory, spicy flavor, mingling with the pot of tea warming over Katsuki's portable burner on his desk. A strange picture of peacefulness, but the kind suggesting not everything's all right in the scene.
He moves away from the window to face his best friend, baring a collection of new and oldscars. The wounds on his chest and right arm still look relatively fresh. Only a week or so old, with stitching and staples visible and bandages half done. But perhaps most telling is when Katsuki moves, his right arm stays dangling at his side. Fingers not twitching, muscles still, his limb once shattered and torn apart, now together but useless.]
Hey Yuji.
[His rough voice is quieted for obvious reasons. Seeing Yuji again... his best friend... god, there's so many thoughts and feelings right now.]
He'd been in the same situation, hadn't he? Waking up, reliving memories, having to fight the horrors and the nightmares that came with it; he had woken up to the knowledge that he had failed, that his brother had been taken from him, that his victories had been bittersweet. Coming back to being the only one from his world alive and breathing had taken its toll, but he is doing his best to push through it as much as he can.
His friend looks rough, and he has the immediate urge to do something, to try and heal him, as if the nanobots could do anything here. ]
[His situation is somewhat easier. Returning to a world where he was facing off against the most dangerous villain in history, knowing if he didn't win, All Might, Midoriya, Japan, everything was going to vanish in decay or buckle under rule. But he survived, he won, with the help of everyone who battled before him. They didn't fail. Things he'll eventually tell Yuji when his friend asks. Coming back to this world, once more having the memories of Neo Tokyo and his life here dumped in his head, had been a rough rush. But at least it's dulled to a headache for the most part by now.]
No. [Katsuki looks to Denji's sleeping figure.] I already traumatized him enough by disappearing. [Talking like it was his fault when all of them knew he had absolutely no control over it. Yet... hero guilting. Even Katsuki's susceptible to it. He can't risk Denji waking up again and seeing him "gone" today.] You want some tea?
[ Yuji knows he's not exactly a quiet person, and he feels a bit of hesitance as he looks between Denji and Katsuki - but he gives in, because this is what his friend needs. He's sure that he would be in the same position if he had lost Raidou, however briefly, or if one of the people he loved the most were taken away again. The losses are hard to bear, hard to manage, but...
He's doing the best he can. ]
Why don't you sit down? I can make it, and I'll be super quiet, too.
[Neither of them are. But Katsuki would rather Denji wake up to their voices and see he's here instead of leaving the half-devil to sleep in silence and wake up to a lonely room one more. He appreciates Yuji's concern and politeness, but this is something he needs to do right now for his boyfriend. The sorcerer understands.
Katsuki bristles for a second when Yuji offers to make the tea, but gives in with a small sigh. He tilts his head, indicating the kettle and the burner, then moves to the wall and, after a few one-armed clicks and unlocks, lowers the table from its previously-collapsed design. He sinks down in his desk chair afterwards.]
[ Walking over, he starts to prepare the tea, getting the kettle and the cups ready as he lets his mind wander.
When Katsuki speaks, he feels... He's not sure what he's meant to be feeling.
Isn't a victory a good thing? But Yuji had woken up the same, happy and miserable at the same time, suffering from the knowledge that his victory came at such a horrible price. Losing himself, losing the parts of his heart that he cared for so deeply, while also surviving and winning...
Glancing back over at his friend, tries to smile. ]
[A simple question. A kind smile. Even if Yuji's more forcing it than anything. How should you talk about the end of a war? Even as a victor, war's a horrible reality. People died. People are injured. Cities destroyed. Lives were ruined. People will bare the scars of it for the rest of their lives. And on top of all that, the burden of rebuilding and creating anew not what once was, not back the way it was before, but replacing "normal" with "better" -- lies on all of them. Heroes. Civilians. Even villains.
Katsuki turns his head enough to offer a small smile back at his friend.] Of course it's a good thing.
[ Yuji knows he's carrying his own scars - literal and emotional. He's more confident now, sure, but those worries, those concerns, the desire to protect the people he cares about - that's inescapable. He's weighed down by it, because he wants them to have a happy ending too, just like he got.
[War always leaves scars, as Yuji insinuated. On their bodies, in their minds, coloring actions and thoughts later down the line. Katsuki knows there's a lot for his world to undergo as it recovers. Same with himself and everyone else coming out of it. But it hasn't done anything to diminish his determination to be a hero and see everyone live a better life. Win to save. Save to win.]
For me? [He clicks his tongue and scowls at his arm.] I'm stuck on light duty. The doctor said even with physical therapy, it probably won't ever go back to how it was.
Do you think there's anything they can do here? Though I guess that won't help back home...
[ Yuji came out of this doing remarkably well, all things considered. A brother down, missing some fingers and a lot more people than he'd like, but... He survived. He can still run around and laugh and do all the things a teenager should do.
It's not the same for everyone. Look at Inumaki-senpai.
Don't want them to. I'll take the meds and changing bandages, but I don't need them fucking around with what's already done.
[Besides, LILITH seems rather quick to offer amputations and weaponized prosthetics to people who have weaker limbs. Katsuki already refused both options back home; damn if he'd take it here.
Katsuki returned home with several of his classmates scarred and injured to different degrees, his teachers hurting with their own wounds, some heroes dead or quirkless, some villains dead or dying... They tried to save everyone.]
You tried to save Sukuna in the end ... We couldn't save everyone either.
That sounds like Katsuki, doesn't it? Refusing all the things LILITH could offer, even now. In a way, he's pleased or proud to hear it, happy to recognise the idea that his friend is still the same person he had been, that it hasn't changed even with all the horrible things.
Yuji's not sure what he'd do if Katsuki came back wrong, or different.
[He hasn't changed his stance on that even after spending a year here and returning home. It's only the internal things he refuses. Weapons, vehicles, information, all those things are fine to accept if he wants to. But digging in his head and body? No fucking thank you. Besides, they don't know what work his world's doctors went through. No point in letting them try to "reverse engineer" his surgery to make it better. Or whatever crap they'd do...
Katsuki would learn to live with a prosthetic if needed, but until that's taken from his choice, he's sticking with his body. He runs his hand through his hair, agreeing with Yuji's comment.]
[ Yuji leans back, waiting for the kettle with a soft sigh. ]
I wanted Sukuna to see that there was another path, another way. I tried to show him that, that being a curse doesn't mean... It doesn't mean you have to act in a particular way. Look at my brother.
[Deciding not to kill them, preventing them from killing themselves, and keeping them where they're safe until they stop acting like idiots and get their stupid heads back on. Katsuki looks down at his good hand, Yuji's words heavier than he wants them to be.]
Aa. Izuku tried to do the same with Shigaraki. Uraraka and Todoroki kept reaching out to Toga and Touya, but... I know heroes can't be everywhere at once, and we can't save everyone.
[ Not while Sukuna was stuck inside Megumi. In the end, Yuji had been able to prove himself, but it had come at such a high price... He still wishes it was him, rather than all the others. ]
We have to save the people we can, and that might have to be enough.
[It's an idyllic solution. Even he couldn't "force" a villain to act differently than the villain wanted to act. But unlike Midoriya, Todoroki, or Uraraka, he never once bothered to try and talk All for One out of his megalomania. The man was on a time when he stepped into the ring. There was no time to talk, even if he wanted to.
Katsuki never wanted any of the villains to die, though he has a hard time feeling sympathy for All for One, unlike the other League members. He wanted to save them all...]
Aa. They've made their choices. We can't control everything.
[He rests his elbow on the table, chin propped in his hand.]
I missed you.
[Even if he hadn't remembered Yuji at home. Even if he had only been gone from this world for a grand total of 7 - 9 hours. The culmination of weeks in his world still exists in his mind.]
[ It's impossible to resist the urge to move over, a little closer, and wrap an arm around his friend.
It's confusing; they don't remember it, not when they go home, but there's a connection between them that even that kind of glitch can't ignore. They're best friends for a reason, and he lets his hand raise up and ruffle the back of his friend's hair gently.
Leaning in, he touches their foreheads together. ]
[He accepts the embrace, not even tensing like he would for 99% of other people. Frustrating to know he didn't remember the people he's come to care for in Neo Tokyo when he went back home, but understanding it was more than just 'home' keeping him going despite having no clear memory. It sounds cheesy, but he likes to think his heart knew. A bond beyond the scope of memory and dimension. His best friend... Something that strong isn't going to vanish over a pathetic bump like different worlds.
Katsuki huffs when Yuji ruffles his hair, then leans his head into the touch, forehead to forehead. A familiar warmth he's missed and once again can now feel and enjoy. Both tangible touch and Yuji's strong, warm heart.]
Glad to hear it. I'd've been pissed if you didn't. [He cracks a small smirk at that.] Go home, power up, get a few more scars, come back to kill more monsters.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight ... [evening]
i need some help
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what's up?
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i'm pretty fucked up.
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im coming rn
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[Before Yuji could work himself into a panic. ]
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[ GUESS WHO IS OUTSIDE ]
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Katsuki lets the connection idle as he faces the window again. It feels as if it's only been a few days since Yuji left a similar message in his head, bringing with it a rush of emotions the sorcerer's probably feeling right now. When Yuji knocks on the door, the automated function kicks in and slides its panel open with a gentle hiss. Evening glow fills the room with a warm orange, highlighting Denji's sleeping form on Katsuki's bed. His disappearance at midnight did nothing to help his boyfriend's trauma, nor the long hours through that dark time until Katsuki reappeared in the morning light. Took him all day to calm Denji down until he was able to sleep again.
A bowl of half-eaten rice with toppings fills the room with a savory, spicy flavor, mingling with the pot of tea warming over Katsuki's portable burner on his desk. A strange picture of peacefulness, but the kind suggesting not everything's all right in the scene.
He moves away from the window to face his best friend, baring a collection of new and old scars. The wounds on his chest and right arm still look relatively fresh. Only a week or so old, with stitching and staples visible and bandages half done. But perhaps most telling is when Katsuki moves, his right arm stays dangling at his side. Fingers not twitching, muscles still, his limb once shattered and torn apart, now together but useless.]
Hey Yuji.
[His rough voice is quieted for obvious reasons. Seeing Yuji again... his best friend... god, there's so many thoughts and feelings right now.]
Don't wake him up.
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[ Yuji understands it, of course.
He'd been in the same situation, hadn't he? Waking up, reliving memories, having to fight the horrors and the nightmares that came with it; he had woken up to the knowledge that he had failed, that his brother had been taken from him, that his victories had been bittersweet. Coming back to being the only one from his world alive and breathing had taken its toll, but he is doing his best to push through it as much as he can.
His friend looks rough, and he has the immediate urge to do something, to try and heal him, as if the nanobots could do anything here. ]
... yeah.
[ Looking around, he breathes out. ]
Do you wanna stand outside the door?
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No. [Katsuki looks to Denji's sleeping figure.] I already traumatized him enough by disappearing. [Talking like it was his fault when all of them knew he had absolutely no control over it. Yet... hero guilting. Even Katsuki's susceptible to it. He can't risk Denji waking up again and seeing him "gone" today.] You want some tea?
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[ Yuji knows he's not exactly a quiet person, and he feels a bit of hesitance as he looks between Denji and Katsuki - but he gives in, because this is what his friend needs. He's sure that he would be in the same position if he had lost Raidou, however briefly, or if one of the people he loved the most were taken away again. The losses are hard to bear, hard to manage, but...
He's doing the best he can. ]
Why don't you sit down? I can make it, and I'll be super quiet, too.
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Katsuki bristles for a second when Yuji offers to make the tea, but gives in with a small sigh. He tilts his head, indicating the kettle and the burner, then moves to the wall and, after a few one-armed clicks and unlocks, lowers the table from its previously-collapsed design. He sinks down in his desk chair afterwards.]
We won.
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When Katsuki speaks, he feels... He's not sure what he's meant to be feeling.
Isn't a victory a good thing? But Yuji had woken up the same, happy and miserable at the same time, suffering from the knowledge that his victory came at such a horrible price. Losing himself, losing the parts of his heart that he cared for so deeply, while also surviving and winning...
Glancing back over at his friend, tries to smile. ]
Isn't that a good thing?
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Katsuki turns his head enough to offer a small smile back at his friend.] Of course it's a good thing.
But it cost a lot.
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[ Yuji knows he's carrying his own scars - literal and emotional. He's more confident now, sure, but those worries, those concerns, the desire to protect the people he cares about - that's inescapable. He's weighed down by it, because he wants them to have a happy ending too, just like he got.
Looking at Katsuki... He sighs softly. ]
Do you have ideas? For what happens now?
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For me? [He clicks his tongue and scowls at his arm.] I'm stuck on light duty. The doctor said even with physical therapy, it probably won't ever go back to how it was.
[If Yuji meant for his world... bigger answer.]
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[ Yuji came out of this doing remarkably well, all things considered. A brother down, missing some fingers and a lot more people than he'd like, but... He survived. He can still run around and laugh and do all the things a teenager should do.
It's not the same for everyone. Look at Inumaki-senpai.
It hurts. ]
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[Besides, LILITH seems rather quick to offer amputations and weaponized prosthetics to people who have weaker limbs. Katsuki already refused both options back home; damn if he'd take it here.
Katsuki returned home with several of his classmates scarred and injured to different degrees, his teachers hurting with their own wounds, some heroes dead or quirkless, some villains dead or dying... They tried to save everyone.]
You tried to save Sukuna in the end ... We couldn't save everyone either.
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That sounds like Katsuki, doesn't it? Refusing all the things LILITH could offer, even now. In a way, he's pleased or proud to hear it, happy to recognise the idea that his friend is still the same person he had been, that it hasn't changed even with all the horrible things.
Yuji's not sure what he'd do if Katsuki came back wrong, or different.
Breathing out, he nods his head, eyes closed. ]
He didn't want me to save him.
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Katsuki would learn to live with a prosthetic if needed, but until that's taken from his choice, he's sticking with his body. He runs his hand through his hair, agreeing with Yuji's comment.]
Neither did several of the villains.
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[ Yuji leans back, waiting for the kettle with a soft sigh. ]
I wanted Sukuna to see that there was another path, another way. I tried to show him that, that being a curse doesn't mean... It doesn't mean you have to act in a particular way. Look at my brother.
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[Deciding not to kill them, preventing them from killing themselves, and keeping them where they're safe until they stop acting like idiots and get their stupid heads back on. Katsuki looks down at his good hand, Yuji's words heavier than he wants them to be.]
Aa. Izuku tried to do the same with Shigaraki. Uraraka and Todoroki kept reaching out to Toga and Touya, but... I know heroes can't be everywhere at once, and we can't save everyone.
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[ Not while Sukuna was stuck inside Megumi. In the end, Yuji had been able to prove himself, but it had come at such a high price... He still wishes it was him, rather than all the others. ]
We have to save the people we can, and that might have to be enough.
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[It's an idyllic solution. Even he couldn't "force" a villain to act differently than the villain wanted to act. But unlike Midoriya, Todoroki, or Uraraka, he never once bothered to try and talk All for One out of his megalomania. The man was on a time when he stepped into the ring. There was no time to talk, even if he wanted to.
Katsuki never wanted any of the villains to die, though he has a hard time feeling sympathy for All for One, unlike the other League members. He wanted to save them all...]
Aa. They've made their choices. We can't control everything.
[He rests his elbow on the table, chin propped in his hand.]
I missed you.
[Even if he hadn't remembered Yuji at home. Even if he had only been gone from this world for a grand total of 7 - 9 hours. The culmination of weeks in his world still exists in his mind.]
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[ It's impossible to resist the urge to move over, a little closer, and wrap an arm around his friend.
It's confusing; they don't remember it, not when they go home, but there's a connection between them that even that kind of glitch can't ignore. They're best friends for a reason, and he lets his hand raise up and ruffle the back of his friend's hair gently.
Leaning in, he touches their foreheads together. ]
I get it. I missed you too.
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Katsuki huffs when Yuji ruffles his hair, then leans his head into the touch, forehead to forehead. A familiar warmth he's missed and once again can now feel and enjoy. Both tangible touch and Yuji's strong, warm heart.]
Glad to hear it. I'd've been pissed if you didn't. [He cracks a small smirk at that.] Go home, power up, get a few more scars, come back to kill more monsters.
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